The rule book secrets that helped her bewitch a Prince

FOR every young girl who dreams of growing up and marrying a handsome Prince, there is one burning question. How did Meghan do it?

Just how did this 36-year-old American divorcee and smallscreen actress capture the eye of Prince Harry?

Now we know the answer. One of her childhood friends, Ninaki Priddy, this week said Meghan swore by a self-help book called The Rules: Time-tested Secrets For Capturing The Heart Of Mr Right.

Although a bestseller, the book came in for criticism over its antifeminist message. It advises women to be subservient, let the man to lead the conversation and to never, ever sleep with him until you’ve had at least three dates.

There’s also a chapter on how to attract a high-profile man — along with other rules Meghan may have found useful . . .

SNARING YOUR VIP

WHAT follows are The Rules for meeting and dating celebrities and business bigwigs. Assuming the VIP spoke to you first, here’s what to do and what not to do:

1. Take a deep breath. Stay composed.

2. Treat him as you would any other man, not the movie star or business tycoon he is. 3. Do not stare at him 4. Do not light up or act giddy, as if you just won the lottery.

5. Act as if you’ve been out of the country for the last three years and you’re not quite sure who he is, even if he was just on the cover of People magazine. 6. Don’t ask for his autograph. 7. Don’t compliment him. 8. Don’t show any interest in his career.

9. If you’re an aspiring actress, do not ask for an audition.

10. Do not ask him to do you a favour, such as donate money to your favourite charity.

11. Act interested but not spellbound. Leave him alone. After five minutes of conversation about whatever he wants to talk about, say: ‘Oh, look at the time, I must leave now. It was nice meeting you.’ And walk away.

12. Do not seem impressed by his limousine or entourage.

13. Once you are dating a celebrity, don’t see him whenever and wherever it’s convenient for him because has a busy schedule. 14. It’s tempting to drop your friends and family and revolve your whole life around this famous man. You must still live your own life, see him two to three times a week — until he proposes.

15. If he’s widely popular, expect that other women might write to him, call him and throw themselves at him. Do not get angry or show jealousy or insecurity. Do not be possessive in public. If he pursued you, their advances won’t matter. He’ll still want you.

16. Be discreet. Do not call the tabloids and tell them you’re dating, as a way of announcing to other women that he’s your man. That would be self-serving, possibly hurtful or embarrassing to him, and might ruin any chances of his continuing to see you.

17. Don’t try to become too friendly with his staff in an effort to keep tabs on him or so they put in a good word for you.

18. Don’t seem overly interested in his wealth or the limelight. Rules girls are not groupies.

DON’T RUSH INTO SEX

YOu will have to exercise a bit of self-restraint and trust that if you hold off for a few weeks or months you won’t be sorry. Why risk having a man call you easy?

It can be excruciating to put off sex with someone you’re attracted to but you must think long-term.

Let’s say that now, hopefully, you’ve held off for a while and are ready to have sex with him.

What Rules should you follow? First and foremost, stay emotionally cool no matter how hot the sex gets. The fact is that most women turn men off not only because they sleep with them too soon, but because they talk too much about it in bed.

Don’t be a drill sergeant, demanding he do that or this. Being with you in bed should not be difficult or demanding.

Don’t cling to him if he has to leave that night or the following morning.

Be casual and unmoved about the fact the date is over — with

that attitude chances are that he’ll be the one hanging on.

LONG-DISTANCE LOVE

HAVING been introduced to someone who lives in a different city or country, Rules apply to making it work:

Don’t call him. He calls you. Get off the phone in 20 minutes. If he wants to visit you on the weekend, he must ask you by Wednesday.

If he suggests that you meet in his city, or halfway, say: ‘That sounds nice, but things are really hectic right now, I just couldn’t get away.’ He’ll realise that he has to visit you. If you travel to see him before he’s made at least three trips to see you, he won’t think you’re special, and will not pursue you in the future. The first three times he visits, he should not stay with you. The first three visits are really three dates... and on the first three dates we don’t have sex.

The first three times, always see a little less of him than he would like. If he suggests flying in Friday night and leaving Sunday evening, say Saturday morning would be better and end on Sunday afternoon.

After he has visited you three times, you can visit him once and stay at his place. If he offers to pay your travel costs, let him. If he doesn’t, don’t ask for the money but let him pay for everything when you’re there. If things get serious, he might ask if you would ever consider relocating.

Until he actually gives you a ring, be vague. There’s no reason to relocate until you’ve set a wedding date.

CLOSING THE DEAL

IF yOU have been following the Rules you will not only get a proposal but you will know where the relationship is going long before he pops the question. you will sense a warm, open feeling emanating from him, a desire to include you in his world.

The way to get a man to ask you to marry him in a reasonable amount of time is not to live with him before you’re engaged, and to continue to see him only three times a week. There’s no cold feeling in Rules engagements. He’s made his decision, he wants to get married, to be with you all the time, for ever.

The Complete Book Of Rules by ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider published by Thorson element at £9.99 © ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider 2000.