Blond, bombastic and with an eye for the ladies. It’s Boris Trump!
ONE is a blond, middle-aged, paunchy populist with an idiosyncratic way of speaking and a weakness for pretty women.
The other is Donald Trump. One is a thumbs-upping, convention-busting patriot who drives his opponents crazy with his provocative statements. The other is Boris Johnson. If the similarities between U.S. President Trump and our Foreign Secretary were not already strong enough, this week Boris, on a visit to the States, posed for a photograph with the President’s daughter Ivanka.
True to form, the old charmer slipped a crafty arm round her waist. Uh-oh! Miss Trump must have done a double-take. This guy next to her. Was he the Limey foreign minister? Or was he Dad’s body double?
Whether it’s saluting soldiers, pointing at crowds or getting their custardy barnets blown in a breeze, Boris and Donald are bracingly terrible twins. Both like their grub, are poor listeners and bad at detail. When Boris was at the White House this week, staff must have been awfully confused.
Both were born in New York, in June — Donald in 1946, Boris in 1964. Those of you who follow star signs will spot that makes them Geminis, i.e. prone to being gregarious and quick-witted. OK, Donald’s repartee may not quite be up to Oscar Wilde standards but he gives as good as he gets. Boris is a celebrated wisecracker.
Though ardent politicians of the people — Donald wants to ‘drain the swamp’ of America’s political elite and Boris wants to ‘take back control’ from snooty Brussels — both hail from privileged backgrounds.
Boris was a scholar at Eton and his father Stanley was a well-connected writer and gallivanter based in Manhattan when Boris was born. Donald’s extrovert father, Fred, was a property developer who relished powerful friendships. Both Boris and Donald took after their fathers but were doted on by their British-born mothers.
Boris’s mother Charlotte is an artist and Donald’s mum, Mary Anne, was a crofter’s daughter from the Isle of Lewis, who as a child spoke English as a second language since Gaelic was her first. Some critics say the same about her son. Most unfair!
ALTHOUGH Boris trumps Donald in the brains department — a Classics degree from Oxford versus real-estate studies at the University of Pennsylvania — both are prone to speaking first and thinking later.
On the hair front, Donald may favour an elaborate comb-over while Boris ruffles his locks. Neither of them is quite as hirsute as of old. It’s the bald truth, boys.
Both have had TV careers, Mr Trump as frontman of America’s The Apprentice, Boris as presenter of history documentaries and Have I Got News For You. It would be fair to say that they divided audiences but any TV star knows it is better to be talked about than to pass ignored.
Putting aside their tricky relationships with powerful women (Donald couldn’t bear Hillary Clinton and Boris has his differences with Theresa May), we need to have a word about their love lives.
The former playboy President has recently been accused of playing away from home with tempestuous Stormy Daniels. Boris has strayed more often than a mongrel on heat. Yet both have weathered these sex scandals and both are lucky enough to have forbearing spouses.
At the time of writing, Melania (nee Knauss, rhymes with White House) is the third Mrs Trump and Marina (nee Wheeler, rhymes with dealer) is the second Mrs Johnson.
Last thing: Donald’s forthright political style may be unconventional, but the Korea situation suggests that it works.
If Boris were our PM, who knows — what could he achieve with Brexit?