Diary of hate... the shocking extracts from MSP’s blog
ON Royals: Mrs Martin previously branded the Royals an ‘inbred bunch of dysfunctionals’ and suggested that Royal Deeside is ‘rife’ with ‘Prince Philip’s illegitimate children’.
ON tipping: ‘American Jews tip ok but only if you’ve absolutely busted your hump.’
‘American blacks don’t tip at all or tip next to nothing – to be avoided. The waiters (also black, remember) would do anything to avoid serving a table of blacks.’
‘A special mention for fat people of all races. Difficult to tell if they’ll tip but one thing’s for sure, the fatties are there for the “All you can eat soft-shell crab and shrimp for $15”.’
ON transgender: ‘Are we going to see lovely photos in the foyer of hairy knuckled lipstick-wearing transitional transgender laydees being embraced by the principal of undisclosed colleges or visiting politicians for the Press?’
ON Alex Salmond: ‘Yes, yes, I know he’s a smug git but he’s our smug git.’
ON disabled students: ‘Legend has it that there is an orphaned, single-parent, gender-confused, blind, aboriginal, one-legged, cross-dressing, lesbian, dyslexic, excon Muslim in a university somewhere in the UK. This university is envied by all other education establishments. Bizarre and costly attempts are made to woo the Holy Grail student to their universities, for she is prized for her funding and publicity generating properties. Many speak of her, but only one can have her.’
ON colleges: ‘They froth at the mouth with excitement if anyone in a wheelchair does anything that can be remotely described as an achievement.’