Send Strictly’s Len to Trumpland, because Ed’s just too diplomatic
They say Americans don’t understand irony. ed Balls decided to put it to the test at a monster truck show in Texas, as he began his U.S. tour on Travels
In Trumpland (BBC2).
Shaking the diesel-stained hand of a grizzled trucker with a Z.Z. Top beard and a Confederate flag, ed asked: ‘So, you voted for hillary?’
For a split second, a killer light flashed in the big Texan’s eyes, before he spotted the cameras. Then he forced a grin. There’s your answer: Americans do understand irony, when it arrives with a television crew.
If all ed’s questions had been as provocative as this, his show would have been far more entertaining.
Sadly, as a natural politician, he instinctively favours diplomacy over confrontation.
On a dawn raid (or, in the politically-correct jargon of the illegal immigration bureau, a Targeted enforcement Action), ed watched from a safe distance as a man and his family were dragged from their homes. he tried to snatch a word with the arresting officer, who was in no mood for a chat, and then beat a smart retreat when gently invited to leave by the police chief.
We’ve been here before in recent months, poking at America’s underbelly, on travelogues with Miriam Margolyes and Louis Theroux. you can bet neither of them would have left when asked.
Miriam would have flashed her bloomers, her stock response to all critics. Louis would have played the befuddled englishman, blundering closer to the scene of the action. ed simply did as he was told, and skedaddled.
Back at immigration hQ, he chatted to an Afghan who told a pitiful tale about being kicked out after 20 years in the States, torn from the bosom of his family, etc. ed listened sympathetically and questioned nothing.
It was left to a guard to fill in some relevant details: the deported dad was actually a professional criminal and drug dealer. ed had missed that completely.
honestly, if you’re going to turn Strictly stars into investigative journalists, you might as well send Len Goodman. At least he’s good at talking to people.
The final segment saw ed chucked into a wrestling ring wearing a Union Jack leotard, to learn a few body slams and get drop-kicked, to the cheers of the crowd. he looked at home amid the partisan combat and the ritual din — it probably reminded him of the Commons.
he’d left his missus, MP yvette Cooper, at home. however, explorer Monty halls took his wife and two small daughters as he headed to a wildlife paradise on My Family And The Galapagos (C4). They stayed in a log cabin in the magical ‘cloud forest’ above Santa Cruz, a city where animals have the right to do anything they like. The pelicans raid the fish market, and the seals sleep on park benches like fat furry drunks, and no one can stop them.
Monty’s little girls, Isla and Molly, aged five and three, were understandably enchanted. I interviewed Monty last month, and he told me his daughters were treated like princesses by the locals, who rarely see redheaded children.
As a Galapagos veteran, Monty explained that taking his family on this adventure let him see the islands through new eyes: ‘There’s no better explorer than a five-year-old.’
The show’s only drawback is that there’s too much to discover in just three episodes.
I could happily have spent an hour learning how the human residents of Santa Cruz cope, when one giant tortoise on Main Street can cause gridlock. Charles Darwin never predicted that.