TV presenter Simon Reeve
TV PRESEnTER and author Simon Reeve, 46, has made travel documentaries on Russia, Burma and australia. He lives on Dartmoor with wife anya, and son Jake, six.
IT’S OK TO BE FRAGILE
AS A teenager, I lacked confidence. I was horribly embarrassed by everything I was and did. I’d just got glasses; my legs were growing like an orangutan; I didn’t fit clothes. My dad was a teacher in a very rough school in West London, and I had a tricky relationship with him, too.
I didn’t just flounder, I completely sank. one seemingly trivial moment sums it up — when trying to say ‘hi’ to a girl I liked after school, I walked into a lamppost, and the kids at the bus stop had hysterics. It was a pathetic but fundamental knock to me at a critical time.
I started having panic attacks and throwing up. I walked out of school without taking exams and I didn’t keep in touch with friends. I felt I was slipping away from the path everyone else was taking. I wanted a job as a delivery driver, but believed it was beyond my reach.
I started to think a lot about ending it all. I believed suicide would free me from the shame and the sense of failure. I found myself on a bridge late at night and the only thing that brought me back from the edge was the fear of the pain.
Eventually, I got a job working as a post boy in the mail room of The Sunday Times. My mum went with me for the first few days to make sure I made it.
It was hard, but my world started to open up. Maybe it’s a lesson for teenagers: the workplace can be less scary than the playground. I started doing research for journalists, then eventually writing.
Later I wrote a book and moved into TV. My dad and I reconciled before he died, then I met my wife. Step by step is my mantra. For those of us who are a bit fragile, it’s a balancing act. But I’ve tried to be as open as I can in my memoir and I’d encourage people to share their stories and sadness. Strength is an illusion — fragility is in all of us. And that’s oK.
When I do my theatre tour, I’ve been staggered by how many mums come up to me and say: ‘oh, that’s what my son is going through.’ I would love it if even one person thought: ‘oK, it was bad for this guy, but he carried on and things worked out pretty well for him.’
STEP by Step: The life in My Journeys by Simon Reeve (Hodder & Stoughton, £20). For details of his theatre tour, visit simonreeve.co.uk Interview: LIZ HOGGARD