TRIUMPH OR TURKEY? THE TOP 15 FUNNIES
What does Donald Trump do after he pulls a cracker? Pays her off
Why is Theresa May encouraging board games at Christmas? Because she’s trying to bring back Chequers
Why has Debenhams been forced to cancel its Christmas nativity play? No prophet
What does Philip Green buy former employees for Christmas? Their silence
When do sheep practise their new dance? While shepherds watched them floss by night
What’s the difference between the Love Island villa and the stable where Jesus was born? The stable has had some wise men in it
Why does Kim Kardashian hate Christmas so much? She’s always the butt of the Christmas cracker jokes
What is Meghan buying Harry, William and Charles for Christmas? Suits
Why was everyone hungover after Roxanne Pallett’s Christmas party? She misjudged the strength of the punch
Why did Donald Trump invite Kanye West round to help with his Christmas presents? Because Kanye is Trump’s favourite wrapper
What’s the biggest complaint about Network Rail’s Christmas seasoning? They keep changing the thyme
Why has Boris Johnson bought mistletoe this year? Because he’s tired of being in the single market
What’s the only thing that goes on longer than Christmas? Harry and Meghan’s wedding preacher
What did Banksy serve with his Christmas turkey? Shred sauce
Who won the North Pole Love Island? Dani Deer