Seems trees are carrying a bit of timber

WE all know expanding waistlines are a problem, but has anyone slipped a measuring tape around a Scottish Christmas tree of late?

In the annual ritual of the TooTall Tree in my house, a fir is hauled in and the choice is to knock a hole in the ceiling or to drag the thing out again so I can lop eight inches off the trunk.

This year, for once, the tree is the perfect height with sufficient headspace for the fairy’s halo. But the girth!

Even crammed into a corner, the thing sticks out a mile. Festooned with baubles and lights, it looks great – but so did the TV before it vanished behind this jolly green giant’s hurdies.

The dog is delighted our front room resembles the Black Forest… just hope we can find her again before Twelfth Night.