I CANNOT WAIT FOR THE CARS!

Gerrard declares he has heard more about quirky Central Park than the Nou Camp

RARELY mistaken for the lush expanse in Manhattan which goes by the same name, visits to Central Park, Cowdenbeath, nonetheless tend to linger in the memory for longer than excursions to most other outposts of the Scottish game.

It is, at last check, the only ground in civilisation for which football is normally the appetiser to an evening of stock-car racing. The track which wraps around the field of play makes watching the round-ball game a somewhat curious experience. If, indeed, your eyesight allows it.

It’s no slight on the good people at the Fife club to say the facilities there are spartan. Nor is it a stretch to suggest that the unique surroundings in which Steven Gerrard’s all-star Rangers side begin their Scottish Cup journey tonight are more renowned than any of the players who will have designs on causing a monumental upset.

‘I’ve heard more about this stadium than I did when I was on my way to the Nou Camp,’ said Gerrard yesterday.

‘I can’t wait for the cars at ten to five. That’s when they start, isn’t it?

‘Listen, I’m looking forward to the experience. I’m a grassroots man, I grew up on muddy pitches. I’ve been changed in dressing rooms that were too small, on the grass outside and sometimes on the gravel in the car parks.

‘All these things don’t matter, it’s a great fixture and we have respect for Cowdenbeath.

‘The stadium isn’t going to change, so we have to be professional and do our jobs.

‘We will have a fantastic support behind us. They are going there to see a strong Rangers team and that’s exactly what they’ll see.

‘You’ll see from my selection just how much I want the job done.

‘We need to forget who we’re playing, where we’re playing, and go and produce a result and performance.’

Currently sitting fifth in League Two, former Rangers player Gary Bollan’s side are in classic no-lose territory.

Sandwiched in between games with Elgin City and Clyde, they can pull their slingshot back and try to hit Goliath where it hurts. If they miss, they will merely get on with the business at hand.

For Rangers, though, being without a major trophy since 2011 means winning the competition at Hampden on May 25 is the business at hand.

Few truly anticipate Gerrard’s men being wounded this evening, let alone coming crashing to the ground by full-time. Ensuring that the unthinkable remains just that is their gift to give.

‘I hope they don’t play like the Blue Brazil, that’s for sure,’ added Gerrard.

‘Listen, it’s a fantastic fixture for Cowdenbeath. They will be wanting to write the headlines and do some giant-killing.

‘We have to show respect, remain professional and go and do what we do.

‘Hopefully, that will be enough to get us in the draw.

‘It’s a fixture we just have to deal with and get the right result, because I’m not sure it’s a fixture we can actually win. If we win, we were meant to, and if we don’t win by a huge margin, we will have failed. That’s life.

‘We totally respect Cowdenbeath and the facilities, it will be an experience taking my team there. All I am interested in is the result.’

Gerrard lifted the FA Cup twice as a player but also encountered near misses and head-on collisions with disaster along the way.

When National League side Havant & Waterlooville came to Anfield in 2008, the natural expectation was of a rout.

But for all Liverpool eventually prevailed by a 5-2 scoreline to progress, twice they had to come from behind. And only one side emerged with any credit.

‘I can’t remember how many divisions they were below us, but they came to Anfield and they were magnificent,’ recalled Gerrard.

‘I expect Cowdenbeath to also bring their best performance. Every single one of their players will be desperate to be involved and give a good account of themselves.’

Boundary Park five years later was the time and place when Gerrard suffered the most embarrassing cup moment of his distinguished career.

Oldham, then of League One, showed a level of application conspicuous by its absence among the Merseysiders. The result was a humiliating 3-2 defeat. ‘That was the classic case of us, Liverpool, turning up, the dressing rooms weren’t great, the pitch wasn’t great, one side of the stadium wasn’t there, so it wasn’t as glamorous as Anfield and we got caught out,’ reflected Gerrard.

‘So Cowdenbeath have got a chance in this fixture. Without a doubt.

‘The mentality you’ve got to go in with is: Do you want to play at a packed Hampden on a carpet with the chance to win a piece of silverware? That’s the carrot for me and us. That’s the mentality the players should go in with.’

The respect he will afford his opponent and the competition will be reflected in his team selection.

There is no question of Steven Davis and Jermain Defoe being kept back for the more arduous trip to Kilmarnock in midweek. Both have assimilated themselves with their new teammates as well as Gerrard could have wished for and will feature.

‘They will both be involved at some stage and I’m delighted with the way in which they’ve settled into the squad,’ he said.

‘They’ve done that even quicker than I thought. Obviously, Davis has been here before. He knew a lot of the staff and we have half the Northern Ireland team here now, so it’s been easier for him.

‘The boys have helped Jermain a lot and he’s already found a place in Glasgow.

‘He’s enjoying himself and they’ve raised the quality in training.

‘Jermain is a humble guy. They both are. We knew the character of both of them and these are the checks we need to do on players.

‘It might have surprised some members of staff just how professional they have been, but it didn’t surprise me.’

This Sunday’s low-key friendly with HJK Helsinki at Ibrox is an obligation from the deal which saw Alfredo Morelos join Rangers from the Finnish club.

For all Gerrard is likely to use the occasion to get minutes in the legs of those who need it, contrary to rumour he won’t indulge himself by strapping on the boots.

‘Let me tell you right now, I would love to play,’ he said. ‘I would love nothing better, but unfortunately that won’t be happening.

‘I am sure I would be allowed, I don’t think there are any rules about that.

‘I would just take the No 8 off Jacko (Ryan Jack) and play the full 90 minutes.

‘But it won’t happen. One, because I can’t last 90 minutes any more. Two, because there are better options than me. And three, because I’ve been retired for I don’t know how long, three years?

‘The hips just don’t move the way they used to move. I might come on for the last five minutes.’