Another fine mess I’ve got myself in

Several years ago, my wife and I went to a restaurant at eastbourne’s Sovereign Harbour. During the meal I was making a point with a sweeping gesture and knocked a glass of red wine onto my lap. I was wearing a pair of cream trousers, so you can imagine how I looked. When we left the restaurant, I put my jacket on, hoping it would cover at least some of the stains. Not a chance! We were on holiday and I had to soak the trousers and my shirt in the bath at our hotel room. I hung them on an outside clothes line and most of the wine stain came out. a couple of years later, we

were back in eastbourne and went to the same restaurant. We were joking that this was the scene of the wine incident. I was very careful this time not to make extravagant hand gestures. all was going well until the food arrived. We both had fish with slices of lemon. My wife claimed that if she stuck her fork in the lemon and squeezed it, the juice wouldn’t shoot all over her. She demonstrated this and it was true. It shot all over me and down my shirt. My wife apologised, but was obviously stifling a laugh. I just sat there and gave her one of those looks that Oliver Hardy always made whenever Stan laurel did something to him. Don Townshend, Chelmsford, Essex.