England’s Ashes hopes up in smoke after they collapse to 67 all out
England collapse to a shameful 67 and their Ashes hopes look to have gone up in smoke
ENgLAND’S Ashes hopes are teetering on the brink after they crashed to a humiliating 67 all out in their first innings of the third Test — their lowest total against Australia for 71 years.
With the Aussies closing day two on 171 for six in their second innings, an overall lead of 283, the embarrassment has left England in danger of going 2-0 down with two to play, prompting batting coach graham Thorpe to slam the team’s ‘poor shot selection’.
‘We’re disappointed with the way we batted,’ said Thorpe. ‘It’s hard to take in the dressing room when it happens. Test cricket is tough.
You can get exposed if you don’t get it right.
‘We know that we badly missed an opportunity to put Australia under pressure. There are no excuses.’
Thorpe declined to talk about potential replacements for England’s failing batting line-up, and insisted: ‘The guys we have selected we believe are good enough to do the job. We know they can do better as a group.
‘That’s the challenge for them — to show some guts and skill, and play the situation in the middle. We really have been found wanting today.’
Australia’s impressive seamer Josh Hazlewood took five for 30 and removed England captain Joe Root for a duck for the second innings in succession.
‘I like him in there as early as possible,’ said Hazlewood. ‘They follow him a bit. He’s the leader and their best batsman to judge by the numbers. If we can get him, they can be vulnerable at times.’
And despite Thorpe speaking optimistically about a famous fourth-innings run chase, Hazlewood sounded more realistic.
He added: ‘England might be starting with a few scars: 60-odd is hard to come back from in a Test. If we start well in the next innings, they might think: “Here we go again”.’
For Root, it was a day that found various ways to cause him pain and humiliation, perhaps the worst being when he fumbled then tried in vain to grab a simple chance that had somehow evaded his grasp.
It was not quite the moment the England captain dropped the Ashes but it was the piece of calamitous cricket that epitomised his side’s sorry demise.
By the time Root, his brain surely now scrambled by England’s ineptitude, handed the fortunate Marnus Labuschagne that reprieve at slip off an exasperated Ben Stokes, Australia were already 200 ahead and the captain’s ship had long since sailed.
Only a miracle in the form of a proper display of first-class batting can possibly save England and, frankly, any sort of discipline and application looks beyond this sorry, impatient collection of frenetic hitters masquerading as Test-match batsmen.
And the whole awful mess was summed up by the sight of fast bowler Jofra Archer, the man with the talent to lift England to what should be the brightest of futures, limping off with cramp towards the close, overworked and in danger of being broken in his second Test.
This was nothing short of an abject surrender of the Ashes. This was as crushingly deflating as the World Cup was thrillingly inspiring.
This came as close as it is possible to get to taking the gloss off that glorious day at Lord’s little more than a month ago.
England were pathetic yesterday. And gutless. There is no other way to describe how they hurtled to 67 all out in perfect batting conditions when they had a real opportunity to take control of this third Test and, quite possibly, the series.
And it was a surrender that leaves the unlikely figure of Tim Paine with one hand on the urn and Root having to face becoming the first England captain to lose the Ashes at home since the bad old days of Aussie dominance.
There can be no excuses. No mitigating circumstances by giving credit to what is a truly impressive Australian bowling line-up.
Every roll of the dice since Edgbaston has gone England’s way — and they have tossed away every advantage they have had.
It was easy to fall for it. Easy to think England really were back in the Ashes hunt when they grabbed the momentum at Lord’s and then came up against an Australian side here without Steve Smith, the man who had been the difference between the sides.
And it was easy to believe the hosts were well on top when they bowled Australia out for 179. How wrong we were. How foolish to believe the Ashes were coming home. Only Root could consider himself unlucky in the face of fine bowling from Hazlewood and Pat Cummins yesterday.
He did not exactly receive an unplayable ball from Hazlewood but it was not far off. The rest gave it away by forgetting the basics of Test batting and trying to get through the new ball and instead being in far too much of a hurry to impose themselves on the Australians.
The ill-fated experiment of opening with white-ball destroyer Jason Roy must be consigned to history now unless he confounds all expectations in the second innings. There must be a question mark, too, over the longevity of Joe Denly. The fact that he edged seven of his 49 balls — and played and missed at a further 16 on his way to 12 — says it all about this surrender. It was all over a little more than half an hour after lunch, a packed crowd barely able to believe what they were seeing as the reality of England’s plight hit home. And it was a plight not even
Archer and Stuart Broad could rescue as Australia slowly but surely batted their way to a near impregnable position.
How quickly the tide turned and how another doughty but charmed effort by Smith’s replacement, Labuschagne, emphasised that Australia were totally in control.
First, Labuschagne was reprieved by that Root fumble on 14. Then he was given out by Chris Gaffaney on 24, caught behind off Stokes — only for the review to prove there was no touch.
Then the Australian was shown by another review to have edged the deserving Stokes through to Jonny Bairstow on 35 — only for the wicket to be ruled out by a no-ball and finally a diving Bairstow dropped him off Stokes again on 42.
He is somehow still there on 53, even though 26 wickets have fallen in barely a day and a half of Test cricket.
England must do better second time around for the sake of their pride but it would be no surprise if they capitulate again and the Ashes could conceivably be all over bar the shouting today.
And when that occurs, questions must be asked about the damage England’s white-ball prioritising has done to their Test cricket — and of a captain who is facing his second Ashes defeat.
Also, if there is a problem between coach Trevor Bayliss and national selector Ed Smith over the make-up and batting order of this team.
That’s just for starters. So many questions and so few answers.