MY DEPRESSION AFTER QUITTING
Cameron reveals he thinks of Brexit vote ‘every day’... and ‘worries desperately about what is next’
DAVID Cameron has revealed his deep personal anguish over the EU referendum and its aftermath.
He said he thinks about it every day, worries ‘desperately’ about what will happen and was ‘hugely depressed’ at losing the job of prime minister.
Mr Cameron said he knows a lot of voters remain angry with him for holding the 2016 referendum.
And he acknowledged some will ‘never forgive’ him because they did not want to leave the EU – something he was not in favour of, either.
In an interview with The Times Magazine published today, Mr Cameron admitted he has had ‘robust exchanges’ with members of the public who confront him in the street. And he recognised the ‘painful and difficult’ period of uncertainty which the referendum’s result has created over the last three years.
He said: ‘I think about this every day. Every single day I think about it, the referendum and the fact that we lost and the consequences and the things that could have been done differently, and I worry desperately about what is going to happen next...
‘I think we can get to a situation where we leave but we are friends, neighbours and partners. We can get there, but I would love to fastforward to that moment because it’s painful for the country and it’s painful to watch.’
When asked in the interview ahead of publication of his memoirs if he has difficulty sleeping, Mr Cameron, 52, said: ‘I worry about it a lot. I worry about it a lot.’
He also told how he was ‘hugely depressed’ about giving up the job of prime minister, which he ‘loved’, but said he was not on medication.
Mr Cameron said holding the referendum ‘was not a decision that I took lightly’ and that he had thought about it ‘more than any other decision’ he took.
But he felt there was a ‘genuine problem’ between Britain and the EU that ‘needed fixing’, with the eurozone crisis and the development of the euro.
Asked if he would have gone ahead with the referendum if he knew how it would split the country and the impact it would have on the Conservative Party, he said: ‘When I think through all the things I thought and all the arguments I had with colleagues and with myself, I still come to the same conclusion, that we were going to have a referendum.’
Despite admitting he felt ‘shellshocked’ by the result in favour of Leave, he maintained it was still right to have held the vote.
But he spoke too of his ‘great sadness’ at ‘the path not taken’ – meaning what might have happened if Britain had not voted to leave the EU.
He said: ‘It pains me what has happened and the fact that we lost and the mistakes I made... but it also pains me because I think
‘Michael was a very good friend ’
‘He’s my son. I love him’
the option of staying on a reform basis would have been a great boon for Britain.’
Mr Cameron also spoke of his disabled son Ivan, who died aged six in 2009, and how he, wife Samantha, and their children Nancy, Florence and Elwen give him ‘an update’ when they visit his grave.
‘I don’t think you ever really get over it,’ he said. ‘Some people say to me, “I’m very glad you took him for walks out in public and you didn’t hide him away”. I’d never thought about that because, of course, I wouldn’t hide him away. He’s my son. I love him.’
Mr Cameron also paid tribute to his wife for having been ‘amazing at helping me’ and told how he hoped that since leaving No10 he was ‘being a better husband and father.’
He said that his friendship with Michael Gove has not recovered since the referendum, when they campaigned on opposing sides, adding: ‘We’ve spoken. Not a huge amount. I’ve sort of had a conversation with him. I’ve spoken to the Prime Minister a little bit, mainly through texts, but Michael was a very good friend, so that has been more difficult.’
He also criticised Priti Patel, the Home Secretary, for her ‘blue-onblue’ assaults during the referendum campaign.
Mr Cameron said: ‘I remember her attack that wealthy people didn’t understand the problems of immigration.
‘It felt like she was put on point to do some attacking of the government and its record. I suppose some people would say all is fair in love and war and political campaigns [but] I thought there were places Conservatives wouldn’t go against each other. And they did.’
On a second referendum, he said: ‘I don’t think you can rule it out because we’re stuck.’ Asked if he would campaign for another poll, Mr Cameron replied: ‘I’m not saying one will happen or should happen. I’m just saying that you can’t rule things out right now because you’ve got to find some way of unblocking the blockage.’
Mr Cameron said No Deal would be a ‘bad outcome’ for the country, adding: ‘I very much hope it doesn’t happen. I don’t think it should be pursued.’
Asked twice if he trusts Boris Johnson, Mr Cameron replied: ‘I want him to succeed… we’ve had issues. Even before Brexit there were sometimes tensions and disagreements but, on the whole, we’ve got on well. He’s got a very clear strategy and plan. It’s not the approach I would have taken, but I want him to succeed.’
Mr Cameron insisted the decision to hold a referendum was not one he took lightly – and was not
‘I told Obama: I am sorry’
taken because of the results of the 2014 European election, when Ukip emerged as a genuine threat to the Tories.
‘It’s simply not true,’ he said. ‘The referendum was announced a year beforehand and I thought about it more than any other decision I took, because I knew it was an enormous decision.’
The morning after the referendum he rang Barack Obama and leaders of the 27 other EU countries to say: ‘I am sorry.’
With the benefit of hindsight, he now acknowledges that he misjudged the mood of the Conservative Party and the country, saying:
‘Something I got wrong was that the latent Leaver gene in the Conservatives was much stronger [than I thought].’
He said he accepted that Dominic Cummings, the Vote Leave campaign guru who is now Mr Johnson’s senior strategist, managed to reach voters who had never voted before.
In the interview ahead of publication of his book For The Record, Mr Cameron also addressed the cuts imposed on the public sector by the Coalition government.
He said the ‘last thing’ the Tories and Liberal Democrats wanted was to pursue an austerity drive, insisting it was ‘an economic rescue job’.
He said: ‘That was the most important thing we had to do. We were faced with a budget deficit that was forecast bigger than anywhere else in the world, 11 per cent of GDP, and a genuine danger to the British public. That had to take precedence over everything else.’
Mr Cameron claimed ‘difficult decisions’ were required to reverse the country’s economic fortunes – and this included reining in public spending and raising taxes.
The former prime minister will embark on a media blitz next week with a series of interviews planned.