Ephraim Hardcastle

NOW halfway through her 94th year, the Queen has long been offloading her sporting patronages to younger royals – rugby went to Harry and William and tennis to Kate. Golf enthusiast Andrew was naturally seen as the ideal successor to his mother’s plum roles as patron of the PGA, the English, Welsh and Scottish governing bodies and the prestigious Royal and Ancient Golf Club. But the persistent shadow of his relationship with paedophile Jeffrey Epstein, rendering him a less attractive replacement, could prompt HM to take her time teeing off and relinquishing her golfing patronages. ANGELA Kelly, who exalts in the title Senior Dresser to the Queen, has some way to go before promotion to the top job Mistress of the Robes. The current occupant, Fortune FitzRoy, Dowager Duchess of Grafton, 99, has held the post since 1967. While the Queen showed her appreciation by promoting Angela to Royal Victorian Order fourth class in 2012, it’s highly unlikely the docker’s daughter will break through the gossamer ceiling. No one below the rank of duchess has held the post since Queen Caroline’s dresser Baroness Glenbervie in 1808. AMID awkward stories about Boris’s past relationship with a saucy ex-model, his girlfriend Carrie Symonds, pictured, tweets: ‘To tame elephants, they break their spirits by whipping and tying them up... never, ever ride an elephant.’ Has Miss Symonds tamed BoJo? JUSTIN Trudeau’s juvenile depiction of the Black and White Minstrels has probably banished him from Harry and Meghan’s Christmas card list. Poignantly the Canadian PM was first to get the then four Cambridges to visit and he had high hopes that he would get the Sussex family over too. Meghan was a Trudeau fan having shared campaigning platforms with him in the past. And after Archie’s arrival he issued a gushing statement, concluding: ‘We look forward to hosting them all on a future visit to Canada.’ Don’t hold your breath, Justin. LENNY Henry’s droll media conference introduction: ‘Hello, I’m Justin Trudeau’ prompts memories of young Sir Lenny’s four summer seasons as resident comic on... The Black and White Minstrel Show. FOGEY-in-chief Charles Moore wonders what word describes people who are not ‘woke’, adding: ‘I suppose we are “dozed”. Like sleepy bees, we move slowly around wishing no one any harm. But when we are trodden on, we sting.’ Come on Charles, bees make honey too. CELEBRATING the 20th anniversary of TV political saga The West Wing first being broadcast, creator Aaron Sorkin recalls Prince Andrew’s visit to the Hollywood set where he was intrigued by a framed photograph of his mum, the Queen, with actor Martin ‘President Bartlet’ Sheen. Explains Aaron: ‘I got to tell him what Photoshop is.’