The one lesson I’ve learned from life

Rick Stein

Rick Stein, 72, is Britain’s most famous fish chef with a flourishing empire in Padstow and beyond, and a successful TV career. His latest series, Secret France, is on BBc2. He lives in West London and cornwall with his second wife, Sas.

TEACH YOURSELF HOW TO DEAL WITH A CRISIS

My Mother was a great believer in seizing the day on the grounds that life is short — sadly something that has been true for members of my family.

When I was 18, my father committed suicide. And my elder sister, Janey, succumbed to cancer at 47, when I was in my mid-30s.

our mother was a great lover of poetry. She had a favourite couplet from Shakespeare’s Cymbeline, which she had engraved on my father’s headstone: ‘Golden lads and girls all must/As chimney-sweepers, come to dust.’

Both losses underlined the brevity of life, but also reinforced the need to be joyful — and that was a lesson hard learned. When my father died, I ran away to Australia, somewhere I’d always regarded as sunny and optimistic.

When Janey died, I was in despair. eventually, I went on a short holiday to Brittany and, in one of the lovely fishing ports there, found myself realising that life had to go on.

By contrast, the two periods in my life that have brought me the greatest joy were when I was opening the Seafood restaurant in Padstow and, later, getting into TV and meeting Sas — I call her Sunny Sas because of her positivity.

My mother used to tell me I had two sides: one extrovert, the other much more reflective and thoughtful. When I’ve been at my lowest, I’ve inevitably thought that things could never get better. And yet, there’s that little nugget in the back of your mind that tells you nothing stays the same. this, too, shall pass — isn’t that what they say?

As you get older, you learn the ‘tricks’ to help you deal with the bad times. My tutor at oxford, John Bayley, used to tell me that poetry was like the fall-out shelter at the bottom of the garden, somewhere to go when everything seems unrelentingly black.

My mother certainly would have subscribed to that.

Rick Stein’S latest book, Secret France, published by BBC Books at £26, is out now.