A heavenly solution for Saint Greta

A CLIMATE conference has had to be moved from South America to Madrid, and so Saint Greta of Thunberg finds herself stranded on the wrong side of the Atlantic. Oh, what a shame. Now she needs a carbon-neutral lift 6,000 miles from her current location in California. Or does she? Why can’t she just do it all via FaceTime from her bedroom like other teenagers? I mean, it’s not like we don’t already know what she’s going to say (stolen my future, how dare you, evil capitalism etc); surely it would be much simpler if she just did it down a video link. Either that, or she could be beamed up to space in an orbiting satellite, to permanently broadcast her wisdom to a grateful planet.