Take her out and kill her with kind­ness

Scottish Daily Mail - - Inspire -

DOM SAYS:

What an aw­ful sce­nario you find your­self in. I don’t envy you in the slight­est. the most im­por­tant thing to re­mem­ber here is that their re­la­tion­ship was not about you. It was about them, and they are no more. how­ever, you, as a cou­ple, en­dure. and you must re­mem­ber that.

It seems to me there are four pos­si­ble op­tions. Fol­low­ing any of th­ese paths would be un­der­stand­able, but I feel some are more de­sir­able than oth­ers.

the first op­tion is to pack up im­me­di­ately and waltz off to a pro­fes­sional com­peti­tor.

You say you are in a se­nior po­si­tion and I’m sure you are sought-after. head­ing to a com­peti­tor firm — and ex­celling — might be a rather en­ter­tain­ing way of mak­ing your­self feel bet­ter about things.

Equally, there is ab­so­lutely no rea­son why you should feel forced out. You have done noth­ing wrong. If you love your job and were happy there before this woman ar­rived, then you should not feel com­pelled to flee.

Which brings me to op­tion num­ber two. You could tell your hus­band to change jobs. It is, after all, his mess and, if some­one’s ca­reer is go­ing to suf­fer, then it should be his.

that said, you write that you have man­aged to put the af­fair behind you and grow to­gether as a cou­ple, so pun­ish­ing him now is hardly likely to help your re­la­tion­ship flour­ish. so I don’t re­ally rec­om­mend this course of ac­tion, ei­ther.

the third way, if you are both stay­ing put in the of­fice, is to make life dif­fi­cult for her. she is the cuckoo in the nest here and, while it may not be an ad­mirable way to feel, I would un­der­stand en­tirely should you want to oust your hus­band’s for­mer mis­tress from your sphere.

how­ever, while I un­der­stand the depth of feel­ing, I think this is very un­wise. When there is an af­fair, it is al­ways the re­spon­si­bil­ity of the mar­ried party.

You don’t say if this woman is mar­ried or not, but if she is not, then the fault lies squarely at your hus­band’s feet, I’m afraid. Wreak­ing re­venge on his mis­tress is not the way to go.

Which brings me to op­tion num­ber four — my pre­ferred op­tion. I think there’s some­thing in the phrase ‘keep your friends close and your ene­mies closer’. the thing to do here is to in­vite her to lunch and get her on side. Make an ally of her.

You both fell for the same man, so you must have some qual­i­ties in com­mon. Why? Well, if she knows you, she’s far less likely to reignite things for a start! Put aside your mur­der­ous thoughts and kill her with kind­ness!

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