Ephraim Hardcastle
FINALISING her Christmas broadcast poses problems for the Queen. Mentioning Archie’s baptism, the most significant family event of 2019, triggers memories of the botched secrecy surrounding it. Recalling overseas tours has to include Harry and Meghan in Africa, reviving memories of Harry’s attack on the Press. And then there’s the unmentionable elephant in the room, Andrew. Closeted with advisers, she might opt for the 1992 formula-ignoring annus horribilis, where she focused on the disabilities charity work of Leonard Cheshire, who had died that year, saying: ‘As some of you may have heard me observe, it has, indeed, been a sombre year.’
SKY News queen bee Kay Burley, up against GMB’s Susanna reid with her new breakfast show and returning yesterday from a break, may feel like throwing her powder puff out the window when she peers at her latest audience figures. Daily viewer numbers average under 70,000. By comparison Susanna, with fellow anchor Piers Morgan, boasted over 600,000. Too early for another stressbusting vacation, Kay?
ON Australian TV, Kim Kardashian, pictured, pontificates on Meghan and Harry’s plight. She says: ‘I’m trying to work out who is the most famous family in the world. I think it is a toss-up between the British royals and the Kardashians.’ Kim would do well to remember Edith Sitwell’s observation: ‘I have often wished I had more time to cultivate modesty, but I am too busy thinking about myself.’
STArrING as David Copperfield in an upcoming film, Dev Patel recalls his first approach from filmmaker Armando Iannucci, saying: ‘I thought it was for a biopic of the magician David Copperfield. I was like: “OK. Interesting… I guess if I wear a tight black T-shirt and cut my hair real short, maybe it could work?”’
FRIEND OF Henry Moore and Samuel Beckett, Emeritus Professor at Oxford’s St Peter’s College Francis Warner, 82, has produced, with David Goode, an inspiring CD of their Lullaby Carol sung by the Eton College Chapel Choir. The perfect uplifting antidote to the din of Brexit and the election.
LABOUr’s manifesto has just one picture featuring politicians. In it are: Corbyn, Thornberry (aka Lady Nugee) and Sir Keir Starmer. All north London MPs, two went to grammar school, which Labour is against. Two have titles. And Nugee lives in a street where houses cost nearly £4million. Doesn’t Labour’s slogan – ‘For the many not the few’ – sound hollow?
LEGENDARY political reporter Chris Moncrieff, who has just died, once received a late-night telephone tip from an MP. Both were inebriated. In the morning, the MP rang again and said: ‘The Today programme wants me to go on but I can’t remember what it’s about.’ Moncrieff couldn’t help replying: ‘Neither can I’.