Ephraim Hardcastle
PRINCESS Beatrice, her wedding plans in turmoil over her dad’s ongoing humiliation, suffers another setback. Her option of downsized nuptials at pal Ed Sheeran’s new Suffolk chapel have been jeopardised by Ed’s decision not to apply for a wedding licence for the building. He discovered that it would lead to a stampede of brides. Charles and Camilla suffered a similar fate in 2005 when Windsor Castle was ruled out of bounds for nuptials unless it was licensed for the hoi polloi. They were spliced at the local register office.
CLIMATE change messiah Greta Thunberg’s arrival back in Europe yesterday after hitching a lift on a US catamaran hardly celebrates her no-fly policy. Her 3,000-mile trip across the Atlantic required an additional crew member to be flown out to the US from Britain. It might actually save on carbon emissions if Greta just flies herself.
VICTORIA Hislop, pictured, channelled Mary Berry yesterday, urging grandparents to buy pen and paper for their grandchildren for Christmas to allow them to question them about their past. To rapturous applause at the Oldie literary lunch at Simpson’s in the Strand, she declared: ‘All grandparents on Boxing Day should sit down and be interviewed by their grandchildren about their life. What a waste they don’t know the extraordinary history of their family.’
ANDREW Neil, at Boisdale’s Cigar Smoker of the Year Dinner on Monday, concedes that he won’t bag a Boris interview, but questions why Andrew Marr had the PM on his Sunday BBC show. ‘He was on because of the terrorist attack,’ says Neil. ‘Surely that’s a matter for the Home Secretary. It should have been Priti Patel.’
BIG Brother creator Sir Peter Bazalgette, great-great-grandson of Sir Joseph Bazalgette, builder of London’s first sewers, was the butt of lavatorial jibes when the toilets got blocked at an awards ceremony at the Science Museum. He explains: ‘It happens all the time. And when people come up to me at the loos I have a mantra. If all is good I say, “Thanks, Sir Joseph.” But if it’s not I say, “Oh no! Sir Joe!”’
OXFORD professor Danny Dorling says geography degrees are chosen by posh but dim students. Surely Theresa May (2nd class BA in geography, Oxford 1977) isn’t posh?
HAS celebrity campaigner Hugh Grant fallen out with the Lib Dems already? He’s reacted to a party tweet thanking him for supporting Luciana Berger which adds: ‘Only the Lib Dems can take seats off the Tories.’ Tweets Grant: ‘Your second paragraph is untrue.’
PETULA Clark recalls that husband Claude Wolff kept snoring at the 1969 royal premiere of Goodbye, Mr Chips. ‘I kept having to nudge him,’ she says. ‘He said, “What? I’ve seen the film three times.” I said, “So have I, but the Queen’s in front of us!”’