THAT’S A FUNNY THING TO HA
THE shop on the corner of Lister Avenue in Doncaster has become a tourist shrine, the real-life setting of Arkwright’s store in Open All Hours. These days it’s David Jason as Granville in charge, but when the show launched in 1973, it was Ronnie Barker behind the counter. The series ran from 1976 for nine years, and in all that time Arkwright never did quite get his wicked way with the ample charms of nurse Gladys Emmanuel (Lynda Baron). In this Christmas special from 1982, he is hoping to enjoy a turkey dinner and perhaps a bit more with her.
IT’s Christmas Day and Arkwright, the miserly grocer with a stammer, and his errand-boy nephew Granville will be having lunch with nurse Gladys emmanuel, Arkwright’s fiancee. The scene opens as Arkwright walks through the shop and turns on the light.
GRANVILLE: ARKWRIGHT: Where are you?
I’m standing in this empty shop. That’s where I am.
Granville enters from behind the counter.
GRANVILLE: What are you doing in the shop? Forget about the shop today.
Granville toots a party blower at Arkwright.
ARKWRIGHT: I’ve got just the thing for that. There’s a f-first aid shelf, help yourself.
GRANVILLE: It’s my party pooper.
ARKWRIGHT: Oh that’s a damn shame, a chap of your age.
GRANVILLE: I usually go down very big with one of these. ‘Here comes Granville’ all the girls say, ‘with his party pooper’. (Gives a blast of the party blower again)
What’ve you got your overall on for? You don’t need your overall on Christmas Day.
ARKWRIGHT: For-force of habit.
GRANVILLE: Four fours of habit? Four fours are 16. That is too much habit.
Arkwright takes a mock swing at Granville, then pretends to throttle him.
ARKWRIGHT: Listen, clear all them crumbs up, come on!
GRANVILLE: Anyway, it’s about time you had your party frock on, not your overalls because we are due (he blows a fanfare with the party blower) at nurse Gladys Emmanuel’s (More