Ephraim Hardcastle
HOW much did Channel 4 pay former Squeaker John Bercow for his unregal alternative Christmas message? He’s not saying, just as he declines to reveal his speaking fees from JLA, where he signed up after ceasing Westminster squeaking. He’s the only political figure whose fee is secret. Fellow spouter William Hague is advertised as ‘AA’ – meaning he earns ‘over £25,000’ per appearance. Says my after dinner mole: ‘Bercow will have parity with Hague.’
THE Queen is donating a chunk of the £369million Buckingham Palace refurbishment fund to her son’s home, Clarence House, providing the strongest indication yet that Prince Charles intends to rule from there rather than the Palace when he succeeds. The so far uncosted improvements would allow King Charles to stay put while Buck House remains the official HQ of the royal brand. And the future king will still wave from the famous balcony.
BOJO’S habit of spouting Ancient Greek attracts the ire of classicist Mary Beard who complains: ‘The truth is that if you know any Ancient Greek, which BJ certainly does, it is not hard to learn chunks of the Iliad by rote. Not knocking the PM’s knowledge but this is quite an easy party trick.’ If Boris had learned his trick at Mary’s beloved Cambridge rather than Oxford, would she be so critical?
RECALLING working with prima donna action hero Steven Seagal in 1996 movie Executive Decision, David ‘Poirot’ Suchet highlights an ill-fated encounter. When the director attempted to introduce Suchet, Seagal barked: ‘Who? Do I meet him in the film?’ When it was clarified their characters did not cross paths, Seagal added: ‘Well why the f*** do I have to say hello?’ Remembering Seagal barging past him, Suchet adds: ‘I almost had to be picked off the floor.’
A CHRISTMAS truce between rival javelin throwers Fatima Whitbread and Tessa Sanderson, pictured, with the latter telling Prime magazine: “We had a bad rivalry. To be honest, [fellow Olympians] Cram and Ovett had nothing on Fatima and I. It almost got to a “hate” thing.’ And now? ‘We are civil. We speak.’
TV HISTORIAN Dan Snow ties himself in linguistic knots promoting his calendar saying: ‘My accursed sister gave my auntie – multi-best selling author, Professor of History at Oxford University, Companion of Honour, Reith Lecturer, Companion of the Order of Canada, Margaret MacMillan – my calendar for Christmas. The look on her face was one that I will take to my grave.’ She probably lost the will to live, like the rest of us Dan, reading that plug.
COMPLAINING that he’s never been named as Spectacle Wearer of the Year, Sir Elton John doesn’t explain why he still wears glasses. He had corrective eye surgery in 2003, saying: ‘I have just had implants – not laser surgery – in my eyes so I’ve got 20/20 vision now.’ At least he can find his glasses now.