Night Santa stuck around too long!

I crept down early Christmas morn To check if he had been, And came across the strangest sight That I have ever seen.

Two boot-clad legs were dangling From the chimney stack, And in the hearth with toys around Was Santa’s big white sack.

A very faint voice was calling out: ‘Please help, I’m much too big, ‘I shouldn’t have eaten all the pies ‘And been a greedy pig. ‘It’s very kind of folks to leave ‘Goodies for Rudolph and me, ‘But he only eats the carrots, ‘Which are good for him, you see. ‘I’ve tried and tried but I can’t move, ‘I really am stuck fast, ‘Eating and drinking all night long ‘Has made my waist so vast.’

I grabbed his legs and tugged and tugged, And really did pull hard, Nothing moved so I went outside And found a ladder in the yard.

I stood it up against the house And took a rope up to the roof, Rudolph was by now impatient.

He was tapping on one hoof.

I lowered the rope into the stack, Told Santa: ‘Hold on tight.’ Tied the other end around the sleigh And steered Rudolph to the right.

A dishevelled Santa came flying out Looking embarrassed but all right, He thanked me as he climbed on board, Gliding off into the night.

I suddenly heard this ringing And my husband was prodding me, The time is half-past seven, dear, And your turn to make the tea.

I staggered downstairs still in a dream, Putting the presents where we said, Ate the mince pie and drank the fizz, Then happily went back to bed.

Patricia Rouse, Hornchurch, essex.