Snared by the lonely hearts predators
Women looking for love on dating sites are falling victim to ruthless fraudsters... and the majority are too embarrassed to report the crime
FROM his toned and tanned physique to his kindly eyes, it seems a wonder that a man such as Dr John Hun Lee should have been so unlucky in love. Then there is Andrea Zanchini, a devilishly handsome American, who will readily tell any woman contacting his social media profile that his daughter Carla, an Oxford University student, has been his life since the tragic death of his wife.
In the world of online dating, such gentle, caring souls are surely every woman’s dream. In reality, however, that is all they are. This Dr Hun Lee is a fantasy, carefully spun by callous online fraudsters to part vulnerable women from their cash.
His picture actually belongs to a Turkish doctor, whose identity has been stolen and used repeatedly by scammers relentlessly targeting UK victims in the increasingly lucrative con known as ‘romance fraud’.
Similarly, the real Andrea Zanchini is an Italian model who is not looking for love online. As far as anyone knows, he has even less interest in fleecing vulnerable widows of their life savings.
Yet, he and countless others have had their images used as bait in this deeply troubling new form of cybercrime, the true scale of which is only now emerging.
Only 67 Scottish victims of the scam – in which targets are duped into ‘loaning’ thousands of pounds to their new-found online love – were officially reported to police in 2018-19, involving £251,000. This year’s figure is expected to top 130.
That may seem like a relatively small problem – but specialist officers believe that is a tiny fraction of the true number of cases.
Most victims are, they say, too embarrassed or too heartbroken to report the crime. Conservative estimates suggest that dating site fraud is stinging Scots for at least £4million a year with much of the cash syphoned abroad by foreign gangsters, most of them based in West Africa, far beyond the clutches of our criminal justice system.
The devastated victims’ reluctance to come forward stems not only from the financial price they have paid – they also fear humiliation.
VERY few cases are ever reported and fewer still make it to court. One of the rare examples to go the distance ended last week when two men from Glasgow – Sidney Ochouba, 40, and Busy Oladapo, 38 – were found guilty of swindling seven women out of a total of £35,000 between June 2014 and February 2015.
Unusually the men, who targeted middle-aged women, were based in Scotland, which undoubtedly helped police build a case and proceed to a prosecution.
One victim, Joyce Clark, 60, sobbed as she told Glasgow Sheriff Court how she was conned out of £1,300 while grieving for her father. She began communicating with a man who claimed to work for the World Health Organisation (WHO) in Syria after she signed up with a dating site.
Mrs Clark said the man, who called himself Timothy Burton, persuaded her to transfer the cash to help him return home from the Middle East. She told a jury: ‘I had just lost my father who I cared for for five years, and I was holding down a full-time job. I was not in the best place at the time.’
Asked how she felt on discovering Burton didn’t exist,
Mrs Clark broke down in tears. ‘I can’t describe it,’ she said. ‘It breaks my heart.’
Fellow victims, Jackie Bailey, 62, and Melanie Kay, 49, believed they were in contact with WHO health workers. Mrs Bailey, a widow, said she was in touch with a man called Jack McDud, while Miss Kay thought she was chatting to a Timothy Barton. Between them, they transferred £19,000 to the fictional pair, who claimed they were stranded in Syria.
Mrs Bailey told the court McDud promised to repay the cash when he returned to the UK, but she became suspicious when he failed to show up and more money was requested. She eventually contacted the police, but only after sending him £7,044.
She told the trial: ‘I was part of a scam but it did feel real to me. It felt quite official and above board, if I’m honest. It felt very credible.
‘I’m a very honest professional person and I see the good and honesty in everyone. I never thought for one minute that I’d be conned.’
Miss Kay paid out £12,000 before the scam was discovered. ‘This money was for my son’s university,’ she said. ‘It was a spiral. My savings went. I felt stupid that someone got one over on me this way and I get angry that someone could do this to me.’
Such stories, sadly, are alltoo familiar to anti-fraud campaigner Ruth Grover, who came across the worrying trend after her husband died and she changed her Facebook status to widowed.
‘After not very long I started to become very attractive,’ she said. ‘I was getting friends requests and messages from army generals and engineers across the world. There were quite a lot and I thought this was very strange because I never got them before.’
Suspicious, the former police despatcher started to delve into the murky world of online dating and was horrified at what she found.
‘There were dozens of fake accounts set up by scammers just looking to steal money. The fact I was retired and widowed made me a perfect target,’ she said.
‘Although there are places to report romance fraud after it happens, there was nothing to warn people that pictures being used by scammers were fakes and they should beware. The same pictures crop up again and again and I wanted to warn people before they lost their money and much more besides.
‘We have helped thousands of women but it’s just a fraction of those affected.’
Five years ago, she set up Scamhaters United, a forum where victims could share their experiences. The site receives 7,000 hits a day from women, mainly, around the globe who have either been contacted by scammers or duped out of money.
‘Their stories are shockingly similar,’ she said. ‘Scammers work in teams around the clock so they can keep messaging victims around the world. They use generic terms like “baby” and “honey” so they don’t have to remember the victim’s name as they will be scamming many people at any one time.
‘It is a business to them. They have no conscience.’
Once they have got an ‘in’, she explained, they will suggest moving to a private messaging app such as Hangouts or WhatsApp, and will soon build the romance with a stream of texts, morning, noon and night, expressing their deepening feelings.
‘Scammers fall in love incredibly quickly,’ added Ms Grover. ‘Within days, they go from “Dream of me” and “Don’t forget me” to “Do you think we could have a future?”
‘They always present themselves as rich men, so any problems that the woman’s got, he’s going to overcome them. They start to build up a shared future. Hopes and dreams. From the numerous pictures she has been sent, the woman constructs a powerful idea of a future of love and devotion with no more problems.
‘The “man” she is talking to is developing into something real in her head, even though he is no more real than a load of text messages.’
BEHIND the squarejawed masks of paratroopers and mercy mission workers, the scammers are working hard with software to change everything – from their voices on faked video calls to their location – to avoid detection.
Then come the desperate pleas for money, for food or medical bills, or a plane ticket to visit their new love – always playing on the heart strings to loosen the purse strings.
Ms Grover added: ‘By the time the “man” starts to ask for things, the women often tell us, “I had doubts, but I loved him so much I wanted to do this for him”.
‘The money is always going to be a loan which they will get back ten-fold because it’s a rich man.
‘In their heads, they’re lending their fiancé money, that’s all. It’s natural to want to help someone you love.’
For women who have been in abusive relationships or who have low self-esteem, the thought that someone appears finally to love them for who they are is often too tempting to resist.
‘Just imagine the aftermath, when the victim discovers it’s a scam,’ said Ms Grover. ‘Imagine the torment.
‘Yet they rarely blame the scammer – they blame themselves first for being stupid. It is incredibly damaging emotionally.
‘In fact, one big problem is trying to get women to give up the scammer. Some want to go back even after they
‘It’s a business to the scammers. They have no conscience’
know it’s all fake. One woman made herself cut up her credit cards – she said it was the only way she could stop herself sending more money.’
Often, victims have turned their backs on their relatives and friends who have tried to warn them.
‘This can split families apart, ruin friendships,’ added Ms Grover. ‘Women may have sent £50,000 to £100,000 to scammers, money that may well have been their children’s inheritance.’
In most cases, of course, they will never see that money again. Of the millions stolen every year, vast amounts end up in the pockets of the notorious Yahoo Boys of Nigeria, so named after the search engine the gangs first exploited.
Flaunting their luxury cars, houses and designer clothes online, they exude an air of untouchability.
Nigeria’s Economic and Financial Crimes Commission is trying to crack down on cyber-crime, but with so few scams reported, most of the fraudsters are not pursued.
‘Plus, they are spending their millions in Nigeria, so it’s good for the economy,’ added Ms Grover. ‘This is now so widespread that all dating and social networking sites are seen as fair game and all types of people are being targeted.’
She said men are often targeted by fake accounts linked to porn models who have fallen on hard times. ‘It is still flattery but it is more obviously about sex.
‘Men’s reaction when they find out they have been duped is different – they tend to get angry at the scammer, whereas women will get angry with themselves. That can lead to acute depression.’
Psychologist Monica Whitty agrees that it can be easier to fall in love with a stranger on the internet than someone you meet in real life.
Professor Whitty – author of Cyberspace Romance: The Psychology Of Online Relationships – said: ‘When you are communicating with someone online morning, noon and night, and disclosing precious information about yourself, it’s hard to think it is not real. If a criminal says everything about you is wonderful, it’s very hard to detach from that grooming process.’
INTELLIGENCE, she added, is no protection. ‘The strategies these fraudsters use are highly sophisticated. From the outside, it’s difficult to see how anyone can be taken in, but from the inside, the techniques are incredibly hard to resist.’
Dating websites point out the majority of their members’ profiles are legitimate and maintain that they are doing everything possible to protect clients.
Some employ dedicated teams to monitor security. The police insist all scams reported to them are investigated robustly.
But romance fraud is particularly difficult to pursue, given the stigma attached to the crime. Detective
Chief Inspector Jim Robertson of Police Scotland’s Economic Crime and Financial Investigation Unit said it was making headway and £186,000 was recovered in the second quarter of 2019-20 after officers were alerted to more than 30 cases of unusual banking behaviour spotted by financial institutions working under new protocols set up to help fight cybercrime.
It is a drop in the ocean, though. Mr Robertson said figures suggesting only 5 per cent of romance fraud cases are reported to police ‘wouldn’t surprise him’.
He added: ‘The fact people don’t want to come forward will attract criminals because the risk is low but the result is high. We’ve stopped a number of cases through banking protocols but for every one we have stopped they just move on to another one.
‘This is a trend that is emerging and growing and every victim who has had the courage to step forward should be applauded.
‘It gives us the opportunity to put a stronger message out there and say it happens to people you never think it would happen to, so don’t feel embarrassed.’
Ms Grover offered some simpler advice to avoid the lonely-hearts fraudsters. ‘It’s OK to talk to people online,’ she said, ‘but as soon as they ask for money, people need to realise that it’s a scam and it’s time to walk away.’