Rio’s remembrance room for wife he lost to cancer
Footballer moves photos of kids’ mother – for sake of his new love
HE had doubted he would find happiness again following the death of his wife Rebecca from breast cancer.
So when Rio Ferdinand fell in love with reality TV star Kate Wright, there were bound to be emotional issues.
A major one was that the former England footballer and his children, Lorenz, 13, Tate, 11, and Tia, eight, kept memories of Rebecca all around the house.
The Only Way Is Essex star Miss Wright confessed it made her uncomfortable, so Ferdinand came up with a solution – he put the photos into a special ‘memory room’.
The ex-Manchester United defender, now a TV pundit, revealed the decision in emotional scenes in a BBC documentary, Rio And Kate: Becoming A Step Family, on Monday night. But his move has divided opinion, with some viewers saying it was inappropriate. Ferdinand, 41, began dating Kate, 28, in 2017, two years after Rebecca’s death aged 34.
They married in September but the new Mrs Ferdinand admits she found it difficult when she – and her chihuahua Ronnie – moved into the family home.
‘I’m in a house that isn’t mine, and it’s got Rio and Rebecca’s wedding photos, it’s like an out-ofbody experience. I’m just walking around the house thinking, “What am I doing here?”,’ she said.
Ferdinand said: ‘I knew she was at odds with it a little bit in her own mind. And it’s just about time. I used to say, “The kids aren’t ready yet, they’ve had enough going on. If I take them down, what if it breaks one of them?” I can’t risk that at the expense of her feelings.’
Ferdinand, who admitted being in a ‘bad place’ and turning to alcohol before he met his new bride, was seen discussing the photos with his children, telling them: ‘We can’t just have pictures of Mummy everywhere.’
He explained: ‘We decided to create a room for the kids, where they can come and be comfortable. And in here, they can do their homework, play on the computer, and then there will be a space where they can see pictures of their mum and nan and be comfortable because this will be where they’ll spend a lot of time.’
The room also contains cushions bearing Rebecca’s face.
Viewers were split over the ‘memory room’, with some suggesting it was inappropriate to move the photographs.
‘I can’t decide if moving their photos to one room was a good thing or not? Seems like an odd decision,’ one tweeted. But others disagreed, with one writing online: ‘She dedicated a whole room to her... she’s doing her best and that’s all anyone can do.’
Sarah Harris from Child Bereavement UK, which featured in the documentary, said: ‘We know from the many bereaved families we have supported that there is no “right or wrong” way to remember someone who has died.
‘What does matter is what feels right for the family. Grieving is not about forgetting someone who has died but finding ways to remember them, and a decision about whether to have photos or where to have them is entirely personal and dependent on what individual families find helpful.
‘The key is for families, including children and step-parents, to keep communicating with each other.’
Andy Langford, chief operating officer at Cruse Bereavement Care, said: ‘There is no one-size-fits-all approach to grief, particularly for children, who grieve in different ways. It is important to give children space but they should also be encouraged to talk about their thoughts and feelings.
‘Individual decisions made during the grieving process shouldn’t be judged by others.’