WE’RE FRESHLY HATCHED AND FULLY THATCHED!
As we welcome Wilf – and his glorious mop of hair – to the world, meet the other babies with barnets to make Boris blush…
Some babies are born bald, their hair an afterthought that creeps in like a cap of soft moss in the months to follow. Some babies are born with little more than tufts of wispy down; a peachy, fuzzy hint of the glory that is to come.
And some babies are born like Wilfred Lawrie Nicholas Johnson, already equipped with a glorious top thatch.
For he is freshly hatched with a fully operational mop, complete with noble quiff and magisterial sideburns. It is a marvellous sight. At less than a week old, gorgeous baby Wilf already looks like a gavelbashing elder statesman. order! order! In Kiddy Court! or a captain of the onedin Line at the very least.
Can Carrie’s boy be any cuter? And could this blond bundle of joy be more Johnsonian if he tried?
Already Wilfred is the lucky recipient of the crowning glory that represents the chromosomal power of the Johnson gene; the trademark haystack of golden hair that marks them out as a towhaired tribe to be reckoned with.
even now it grows unchecked on his tiny head — lush, fertile and unstoppable, rather like the Johnsons themselves.
Who but Boris could have brought into the world a perfect baby boy so bursting with life and vigour that he already has a barnet to rival that of any three-year-old — or most of the Prime minister’s advisors, experts and ministers.
The odd thing is, there really was a Wilfred the Hairy, a Count of Barcelona in the 9th century and a modern day hero for Catalan nationalists. He is credited with creating the hereditary passage of titles from one generation to the next, a very Johnsonian trait from a family who do not stint from promoting themselves and each other.
In the meantime, let us celebrate the birth of Wilfred, this tousle-haired tot who has captured the nation’s heart.