Ask him for a hug — they’re free!

ThIS is a timely letter. I understand exactly where you are emotionally and the first thing I have to say to you is you are not alone. Your problem is widespread. These are difficult times, and we are all worried. From the richest of the rich downwards, we are all watching our bank balances go down by the day.

But fretting so much is not helping. We all know worrying about something that hasn’t happened yet is never useful.

Your husband has lost his job, and you are in danger of losing yours and you’re worried you may, in turn, lose your house. That is all true and terrible. But it is equally true that what you do have, and the only thing you can rely on, is your love for each other and for your children.

This dreadful virus is making us all redefine how we live, question why we live the way we do and identify what is important to us and what is not.

We all need food and shelter, yes, but we don’t need our jobs to validate ourselves or boost our self-esteem. For that we don’t need anybody or anything other than each other. remind yourself of that.

The other thing to remember is that this will pass, eventually. At some point we will be allowed to go back to work — it might not be the same job, but, eventually, there will be another.

As a nation we are fighting right now, and that Dunkirk Spirit is still alive.

We will rally. Businesses will reopen. People will go shopping again. At some stage life will start to look rosier.

So get as much help and support from the Government as you can. You’re worried about the mortgage — ask your bank to help, it should offer you a mortgage holiday. reassure your husband that, in time, things will improve. Give him a hug. They are wonderful things — and free!

Go out on to your street and look to your left, and to your right, and you’ll find almost every other household is in the same boat. You’ll get through this, and so will your neighbours. We will all get through this.

There is nothing you or your husband can do to stop the economic implications of this global pandemic, but you can change how you face it. Staring at the computer all day is no good for anyone. It’s fine to buff up your CV, and make sure you’ve sought out every loan, grant and scheme you might benefit from. You’ll get through this — together. n

WATCh steph & Dom’s Couples Therapy, their brilliant new video series, tomorrow on mailplus.co.uk/stephanddom