Ephraim Hardcastle
THE completion of a deep clean at Balmoral and murmurs in Royal circles suggest the Queen is keen to go ahead, in mid-July, with her traditional three-month summer break in Scotland. But Nicola Sturgeon’s refusal to follow the PM’s gradual easing of lockdown, insisting that Scots abide by the ‘stay at home’ policy, has put any royal holiday arrangements on hold. Says one courtier: ‘The Queen will not go to Balmoral if Miss Sturgeon insists on maintaining total lockdown. HM abides by the rules.’
WHY did BBC News devote a meagre 30 seconds to the life and death of The Goodies’ Tim Brooke-Taylor, a Beeb comedy stalwart for 50 years? According to former obituary editor Nick Serpell, his old department has been virtually abolished by cuts, with reporters relying on Wikipedia and tweets from what he terms ‘celebs claiming to be the deceased’s best friend’.
ANNOUNCING the lifting of the coronavirus ban on swimming, Boris Johnson says he hopes it will please Tory MP Desmond Swayne, a regular 6am plunger into Hyde Park’s Serpentine. The PM is a keen wild water swimmer. As foreign secretary, he and a male friend shocked fellow guests at Chevening, his grace-and-favour residence in Kent, by stripping off and plunging into the murky lake in the grounds.
SHANE Warne recalls ex-fiancee Liz Hurley, pictured, visiting his Australian home as the paparazzi photographed a new mattress being taken in during renovations. ‘They got that picture of a guy carrying a bed,’ he says, adding: ‘Of course, “Shane Warne wants to get rid of the old mattress, let’s put in the new one”.’ Aussies love a bit of innuendo, but Liz was unamused. The engagement was short-lived.
THE new son of Luxembourg’s Grand Duchess Stephanie is called Charles Jean Philippe Joseph Marie Guillaume, satisfying dynastic tradition. Let’s hope he fares better with his profusion of monikers than George V and Queen Mary’s first born – Edward Albert Christian George Andrew Patrick David. Whatever happened to him?
A HEARTFELT plea from Fi Glover in Waitrose magazine: ‘If anyone knows where Inglese, my Australian magician-cumhairdresser is, please ask her to get in touch. I’ve spent hours trying to track her down through social media as if she were a long-lost love – in the hope that I might be able to flatter her into being her first client when lockdown is relaxed?’ Won’t this echo through the nation’s mothballed salons?
CHEF Ainsley Harriott, asked on Anne Diamond and Nick Owen’s YouTube show whether he’d ever considered turning vegan, replied: ‘No chance. I once had a girlfriend who turned vegan. I had to get rid of her. The flatulence was terrible. It interfered with my cooking!’