WHEN ALL THE WORLD’S AN (EMPTY) STAGE . . .

THE Royal Court Theatre is streaming its empty stage through the lockdown. They’re calling it Caretaker, and all we see is the abandoned set for the last play, Shoe Lady by E.V. Crowe, which starred Katherine Parkinson.

Every so often a light flickers or we get what the management call ‘a witty, playful or supportive audio message’. One such ran: ‘Welcome, you are alert to words being used meaninglessly. Take care.’

In some ways it makes sense. This was the theatre where Samuel Beckett’s Waiting For Godot was first seen uncut in 1964. That was the one about two tramps waiting for someone who never shows up.

Written in two acts, it’s been described as a play in which nothing happens, twice. But let us thank God for small mercies. The alternative on the Royal Court website is David Ireland’s play Cyprus Avenue.

It stars Stephen Rea (pictured left) as an Ulster Unionist who’s having a breakdown in which he imagines his baby granddaughter is the reincarnation of Gerry Adams.

At first he’s a bit of a joke, but the closing bloodbath is nasty, poisonous and puerile. As a statement on Unionism it’s merely coarse and clumsy.