Worry about your heart not your hair
STEPH SAYS:
it is very early days and i feel for you when you say you’re not on your A game. With only a few dates under your belt, suddenly your relationship has been interrupted by a worldwide catastrophe, which has prevented you from seeing each other.
Pre-pandemic, this early in a relationship you would still be making a huge effort to show him only your best bits; it can sometimes take months before we’re happy to drop our guard enough not to set the alarm for a quick teeth brush before he wakes up.
sadly, this is love in the time of corona and everything is different. there are new rules and we are all having to change the way we behave.
remind yourself that you’ve already done the hard part. You’ve been brave enough to put yourself out there and trawl through the internet to find your new beau. And you like him! so well done.
But i have to tell you that lying to him to avoid seeing him by saying you were busy with your friend is a complete no-no. No relationship should ever include lies, however small, especially so early on. they trip you up and are no foundation to build on.
i understand why you feel you’re no longer the girl he remembers going out with three months ago. But you are. You clearly have quite a rigid routine — gym five times a week, hair, nails etc. And obviously you’ve become quite reliant on those things to support the vision you have of yourself.
But it’s just that: a vision. it’s not real. And now it’s threatening this budding relationship.
if, deep down, you think he’ll be offended by the weight gain or a grey root, then he’s not the man for you. You absolutely do not want to be with a man who wants a trophy on his arm.
No one looks perfect all the time and we shouldn’t want to. think about the joy that is to be found in being truly comfortable with your partner; in dropping the veil and being loved nonetheless. it’s a rare and wonderful thing and you get to fast-forward to it! i suggest you see this as an opportunity to rid yourself of some of the rigours of your beauty routine.
He’s talking to you every day, so this relationship already exists. You say you’re already dreaming about the future, but i think you should try to get your feet back on the ground and stop imagining a future with a man you don’t know very well yet.
the only future you should want is one in which neither of you ever feels insecure. so, bite the bullet. Call him and confess you were scared he might be put off by the change in how you look, but that you’re willing to see him now.
You should be worrying about your heart, not your hair. slick on the lippie and take the leap.