Is it really OK to date a toyboy half your age?
As Kate Beckinsale defends her relationship from online trolls...
BeRNIe ecclestone, still spry at 89, recently boasted he ‘didn’t need Viagra’ to father his new son with wife Fabiana, 44.
Contrast this with the actress Kate Beckinsale, looking glorious at 46 yet forced to sneak around LA with her 23-year-old musician boyfriend, Goody Grace, and even defend her attraction to him, saying having fun at her age ‘seems to be risque, which is just ridiculous’.
She adds that she has no plans to ‘sit at home and anticipate menopause while crocheting’.
Well, hurrah for her! I must admit that although I, too, am in an agegap relationship — with a man 14 years my junior — I wondered what she sees in such a boyish man.
Then I realised: we’re all conditioned to believe the double standard which lets older men brag about their sexual appetites for younger women, while being uncomfortable when the roles are reversed. ‘Older’ women nearing the end of their child-bearing years are not supposed to have sexual or romantic inclinations. But times are changing.
Thanks to a fast-evolving beauty industry, women look younger for longer, which means our appearances now match the spirit and energy we have always had. I may be 46, but I feel 23 and still want to be the last to leave the dancefloor. If you are young at heart, a younger man who shares your love of life is the perfect companion. We should be free to date someone who makes us laugh, shares our interests and likes our wisdom.
Younger men not only look great in the bathroom, but they’ve been raised to believe in a more equitable division of domestic labour. I have no idea if Kate is chuffed when Goody replaces the loo roll, but sharing life’s dull chores with an unresentful chap is liberating for women of my age.
When news first broke of my own age-gap relationship, all of my friends congratulated me with a slight wink. ‘Well done, woman. Good work’ was the common refrain. But they also added: ‘he’s a lucky man.’ These relationships don’t work if the older person feels grateful. My mother was not enamoured by the idea — until she saw us together, and realised the age disparity was irrelevant.
Kate’s social media feed is hilarious and I imagine this sense of fun allows her to bat away the criticism. But hopefully she won’t need to deflect the haters for long — older women are catching up with the men, and it’s lovely.
‘Why are we uncomfortable when roles are reversed?