Do the right thing and wear a mask
IT’S now mandatory to mask up when shopping, so I am expected to don something I last wore when working on construction sites. So be it and with my face covered in a fetching blue ensemble, I join the anonymous throng and proceed with the weekly shopping. It reminds me of travel documentaries where people with the sniffles wear masks to protect fellow pedestrians and as a warning to others. All very laudable. Now we are emulating them. It’s a strange sensation to see just my fellow shoppers’ eyes. A chap almost bumps into me and all I get is a cursory: ‘Sorry, mate.’ Normally a facial expression conveys so much more than the spoken word, but now there is nothing to indicate sincerity. My packet of face masks is labelled: ‘This product will not protect you from coronavirus.’ Is it a cop-out so if I collapse in a heap, I can’t sue them? I understand why we must all be vigilant and even a summer cold can bring on a sneezing attack. Wearing a mask can be problematic for some people; it does bring on a slight feeling of claustrophobia, not helped by wearing glasses, which instantly mist up. I was relived to remove my mask when leaving the shop and noticed others doing the same. I suspect that the mask will become a fashion item for those who can afford them. Innovative designs cheer up what otherwise is a mundane item of everyday apparel. They can be a cosmetic enhancement to those who are plug ugly. I quite fancy one with the face of Groucho Marx complete with eyebrows, glasses, moustache and large cigar! Why stop there: Betty Boop’s nose and mouth for the ladies, Barry Manilow’s hooter and Cherie Blair’s smiling post-box mouth. The mask is here to stay for the foreseeable future, whether we like it or not. It’s part of our wardrobe, to be picked up automatically as you leave the house along with your car keys and shopping list. The high price demanded by opportunist retailers will, I hope, decrease to a more reasonable level because the basic disposable mask costs only pennies to produce. I will do the right thing and mask up when out and about. My only question is: how do I stand when entering a bank?