Fallout over Gypsygate had me fearing jail time

I’d made a big mistake calling Samson Lee ‘gypsy boy’ in the England v Wales game in 2016. It didn’t matter that his team-mates called him gypsy boy. I’d called him that name with the sole purpose of p***ing him off and throwing him off his game. That was wrong of me. The Six Nations committee handed me a misconduct charge, which I deserved. I was trolled online and accused of being racist, which rattled me to the core. Eddie Jones was put under pressure to drop me from the England squad. We had the decider against France and were on our way to winning our first grand Slam since 2003. But Eddie didn’t bow to outside pressure and didn’t drop me. That was a huge relief and I’ll always be grateful to him for that. The game was one of the highlights of my career. We played great rugby that day. If I’d missed out on that opportunity, I’d have been absolutely heartbroken.

I assumed I’d be allowed to move on. It wasn’t to be. The trolling over gypsygate hadn’t stopped, it had escalated.

World Rugby had got involved, and they decided that the Six Nations hadn’t done enough with the charge. I was summoned to a disciplinary hearing.

It was a surreal and terrifying ordeal, listening to their discussion of other instances of racism at the top level of sport. I didn’t recognise myself in the same category as the other offenders but I had to accept that was where I’d stupidly landed myself.

It was hard to listen to. It all sounded so gravely serious that I thought I might be sent to jail. The upshot was my huge £20,000 fine, plus a twoweek ban.

Even at the best of times it was hard for daisy being married to me. It wasn’t fair. I’d caused so much stress and upheaval. Now I’d brought the whole gypsygate storm down on us.

For weeks our lives were turned upside down. I was moody and withdrawn, blaming myself and seething about the enormous fine. There’s no textbook that tells a rugby player how to deal with this. I was feeling my way through it — and not doing very well.