Forget texts — write a proper letter

IT WAS a strange coincidence to receive a helpful email from Vera on the same day my latest video appeared on Mail Plus, in the Tuesday health section. (For the link, see the bottom of this page.)

My video is about letters used as therapy — or healing. I tell a story about a letter I received many years ago and the advice I gave, which worked.

Vera writes: ‘When my partner of 45 years died last year within seven weeks of being diagnosed with cancer, I had some extremely helpful sessions with an excellent counsellor…who suggested I write a letter to him expressing all my feelings.

‘I remember thinking it sounded a bit daft and I wouldn’t be doing it!

‘However, I owed it to her to try, and once I started I was able to get it all down.

‘I cannot state strongly enough how much it helped. I have it safely tucked away…I would certainly recommend writing a letter in these or similar circumstances.’

Thanks, Vera — I’ve been saying this for years. Of course texts or email will not do; you need paper to set important words down properly. If the letter is full of pain, it can be destroyed as a release. If it is full of love, it can be treasured.

Currently, we are entering another difficult time — for all of us. I’d like letters to come into their own. Try writing one (or a lovely notecard) to a dear person a distance away.

Getting an envelope in the post is always cheering. But because of texts and emails people are unused to expressing themselves on paper.

Just read the beautiful letters sent in both World Wars from (often) uneducated soldiers at the front, to see what we have lost. Bring back the intimate magic of the pen!

Next week, this column won’t be here, as I’m having my first week off this year. But do keep sending your letters and emails.

When life feels hard, it really can be helpful to set feelings down in words.

■ Bel answers readers’ questions on emotional and relationship problems each week. Write to Bel Mooney, Scottish Daily Mail, 20 Waterloo Street, Glasgow G2 6DB, or email bel.mooney@dailymail.co.uk. Names are changed to protect identities. Bel reads all letters but regrets she cannot enter into personal correspondence.