One day I will walk away for my family but I’m not ready yet
ThE fire lit inside Steven Gerrard on the streets of huyton still burns brightly more than three decades on. he remains addicted to the buzz of competing. in management, he is striving for the same thrill provided by the extraordinary highs he achieved as player. All the while, the bitter lows he has experienced are never quite forgotten.
Pushing to deliver silverware at rangers demands a different skillset from being captain of Liverpool and England. Similar sacrifices have to be made in both jobs, though. And not just by him.
For wife Alex and their four kids, coping with the intense emotional demands Gerrard’s work places upon him have become second nature. After all, football has been central to his life since he was seven or eight years old.
now 40, Gerrard feels like he is still growing into his journey within management. Walking away from all these stresses and strains is not on the horizon. it likely won’t be for a very long time.
but Gerrard admits there will come a point when an obsession with football will have to end. And he knows it is a day his wife would welcome as soon as possible.
Asked if he wanted to allow management to dominate his life like playing had, Gerrard replied: ‘no, but i think there will be times when it does.
‘When you go into the real game, when y o u’ r e r e pr e s e nt i ng rangers and you know what it means to people, there are times when i t dominates your l i fe. that’s what it is.
‘there will be a stage in my life when i have to give it up for the sake of my family and myself. to cut it and live life with a bit of peace.
‘Can i do that? i hope so. i think there’s got to be a stage in your life where you have calm and peace. but i’m not ready for that.
‘i do feel full of energy. i do feel as though i can help players. i do see opportunities to have more highs, buzzes and adrenaline rushes. i do see things that i want to go and achieve, so i am not ready for that now.
‘but for Alex and the kids, at some stage, i am going to have to give myself to them one hundred per cent. When that will be, who knows.
‘Alex would take it tomorrow. She’s the one who brings you down when i think i’m fantastic because i’ve scored a goal or won a game.
‘When you are on the floor, staring at the walls, she is the one who picks you up. She has gone through the journey as well. the kids see it as well.
‘You do your best not to bring it home but any manager or player who says to you that they don’t take it home or leave it in the car, they are telling lies.’
Speaking to the hi g h Performance Podcast, Gerrard also admitted he still dwells on his infamous slip against Chelsea that was so costly to Liverpool’s title chances six years ago.
‘i found it hard to give up being a player at Liverpool,’ he reflected. ‘i was on the back of a real brutal, cruel low in my life in 2014 — the Chelsea episode, which still lives with me to this day.
‘the decisions i made there, going to America, coming out of the city to breathe, relax and freshen up. i wanted to decide the next chapter for me — was it tV, was it coaching?
‘it struck me pretty quickly that i missed the competitive side. the highs i had as a player, i wanted to experience them again. because, for me, the highs well outweigh the lows, even though i’ve had a couple of crushing lows.
‘ i’ve worked really hard to accept those situations but i still think part of me is chasing more highs because what i’ve given to the sport from seven or eight years of age. i think i deserve more highs. i still think more about the lows, i don’t know why.
‘this is not something that happens every single day but it was such a big moment (in 2014). it would be easy if you could just lift the carpet, put them under and never think of them again but i don’t think that is ever going to be the case.’
he dismissed any idea he might have felt a pang of jealousy when his old club finally ended a 30-year wait for the title last season.
‘not one bit,’ insisted Gerrard. ‘it felt like part of me healed more. i knew what that Premiership mean to an awful lot of people. to my own family. to me.
‘the way the club were with me during that time, that run-in to win the Premier League — which will remain private — was special.’