BEING A MUM’S THE TOUGHEST JOB... I’M WORTH EVERY PENNY
TALLY SWIDZINSKA, 37, lives in Kenley, Surrey, with husband dylan, 38, a chartered accountant, and has a four-year-old son and two-year-old identical twin girls. She says:
BEING a mother is the hardest job in the world, so why shouldn’t we receive a salary? We’ve never had a joint bank account — we both like our independence, so every month Dylan transfers £650 from his account to mine. From this I buy most of the groceries, clothes for the children and petrol for my car. Whatever is left, around £100 most months, I spend on whatever I want — clothes, a haircut, a meal with friends and the odd post-school run coffee. I have never asked Dylan for this — it just appears in my account like clockwork in the middle of every month. As well as allowing me some financial independence, it also means Dylan doesn’t have to worry about mundane things, such as buying the children clothes and food shopping. Contrary to what others may assume, I consider myself a feminist and to anyone who objects to the term ‘mummy salary’, I would say: ‘Oh, calm down’.
My husband is not actually hiring my services as a mum — he’s allowing me to carry on living the life I had before children, without the embarrassment of having to ask for money.
If he didn’t, I’d feel more like a kept woman, with little choice but to ask my husband every time I wanted to make a purchase.
I’ve heard other husbands moan about how much their wives spend from their joint account, and I take solace in the knowledge that, as I never spend more than my ‘salary’, Dylan could never complain about me.
Who wants to have to justify spending £2.50 on a coffee with friends? So, far from feeling degraded, I find it liberating.
And I’m not frivolous with money — I had a good wage, as an executive assistant to an MD, for a long time. I would love to be able to work, but I don’t have that luxury — with three children under the age of four, the childcare costs would be crippling.
That said, I feel I more than earn what I am paid and I am worth every penny.