Ephraim Hardcastle
MEGHAN’S curious claim that she was secretly married to Harry by Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby three days before her £32million Windsor spectacular is proved false by Thatcher biographer Charles Moore. Playing Sherlock Holmes, Charles contacted the Archbishop’s Special Licences office to ascertain the truth. ‘A special licence was issued for the marriage in St George’s,’ he reveals. ‘So the Duchess is mistaken.’ Give his lordship a deerstalker!
WITH Meghan hardly likely to return to Frogmore for a home birth, her forthcoming baby daughter will be born a US citizen. But as her citizenship descends through Harry (for one generation) the Californian bambino will also be British. Archie’s sister can do a Boris when she reaches the age of 18. He renounced his US citizenship in 2016 to escape US taxes.
MEDIA Editor Amol Rajan, renowned for possessing the sharpest elbows at the BBC, has added Radio 4’s Today programme to his burgeoning brief which already includes Start the Week, The One Show and assorted documentaries. His £215,000 salary should be augmented with a £35,000 annual injection. Sharing his delight, amiable Amol tweets: ‘I’ve a huge amount to earn.’ He speedily added the missing ‘l’.
THE Crown’s Princess Diana, Emma Corrin, pictured, is to tumble in the hay as Lady Chatterley in a new film version of DH Lawrence’s raunchy classic. She’s unlikely to seek trysting lessons from previous Lady Chatterley Joely Richardson, who, in Ken Russell’s 1990s version, romped with Sean ‘Mellors’ Bean behind the walls of an Oxfordshire country estate. ‘Every now and again a bus would go past’, Joely recalled. ‘And you’d see all these heads peering out of the top deck at these lunatics running about naked.’
DEFRA Minister and rewilding proselytizer Zac Goldsmith apologised after a tame journalist was falsely briefed that Boris had asked officials to set up a taskforce to gauge support for the reintroduction of wolves and lynx to the countryside. Isn’t there sufficient warring wildlife in Downing Street?
FOPPISH decorator Laurence LlewelynBowen boasts that Carrie Symonds could have saved a fortune from the £200,000 Downing Street flat refurbishment if she had contacted him. ‘What’s terrible is’, speculates Laurence, ‘Carrie is now thinking “I could have got all that advice for free if I’d got in touch”.’ Not only a wallpaper aficionado but a mind-reader as well Laurence?
PRESENTING Meghan, a seven-year-old, was 6/1 in a 2.4 chase at Thurles races yesterday. She finished seventh out of eight just behind 33/1 outsider Stealthy Tom, who had no Mexican connections. Was also-ran Meghan off her oats?