One in the eye for French on 1066

OVERHEARD in the Commons: two Tories discussing the Bayeux Tapestry, which is set to be loaned to Britain and depicts the Frenchman William the Conqueror coming over in 1066, slaughtering the incumbent Anglo-Saxon monarchy and jamming the English crown on his head. The priceless 11thcentury artefact needs a £1.7 million repair job and the mayor of Bayeux is demanding that Britain should pay for it. One MP waspishly remarks: ‘If the Government picks up the bill, can we change the ending?’