So is anybody listening to his one-man band?
IT was billed as the return of the King, the exiled champion of independence riding to rescue the Nationalists’ stalled dreams. With one ‘supermajority’ to bind them, this would be just like old times, with wily old Alex Salmond leading the charge towards separatism at breakneck speed.
‘We are going into today with high hopes and brave hearts and I think Al-a-ba is rising across Scotland,’ he intoned.
We are standing in the car park of the Ritchie Hall in the small Aberdeenshire enclave of Strichen, which he has long called home.
‘I note that eight polls during the campaign have shown Al-a-ba will gain a bridgehead in parliament and that’s a remarkable thing for a party that’s been in existence for five weeks. But we will see what the people say today. As I say, Al-aba is rising across Scotland.’
AL-A-BA is Mr Salmond’s newly created party – with the correctly-inserted middle ‘a’ which has largely eluded its leader’s pronunciation for much of Alba’s five-week existence.
Trouble over its pronunciation, though, is as nothing compared with trying to find anyone ready to admit they actually support the party in what used to be Mr Salmond’s heartlands.
There is, at least, one fervent pro-Alba fan in Strichen who has decked out their garden with two campaign signs and a large ‘Yes’ notice to boot. In the interests of fairness, it should be pointed out that the said property belongs to one A. Salmond Esq.
So far, according to the last poll before election day, his party has risen to the dizzying heights of 2 per cent support nationally, some way short of securing that muchvaunted bridgehead.
He will need to have persuaded many more voters to back its 32 hastily mustered candidates standing purely on the regional ticket, including the vast North East Scotland constituency, which stretches from Buckie on the Moray Firth down to Dundee. It would be quite a feat, given Alba’s low polling is matched only by his own personal ratings as the least liked of the UK’s party leaders – behind even Boris Johnson.
Last year, Mr Salmond was cleared of 13 charges of sexual assault after a two-week trial at the High Court in Edinburgh. In 2019, he won a judicial review against the Scottish Government after it was ruled an internal inquiry into sexual harassment complaints was unlawful and tainted by apparent bias.
Precious few of those wrapped up against the bitter weather seemed inclined to indulge a man that one local suggested was living on borrowed time politically.
‘I know Alex well, he’s a good friend and I’ve drunk in the pub with him, but I don’t share his politics,’ said Lulu Moon, 52, an HGV driver originally from Wales.
Mrs Moon added: ‘To be honest, you don’t hear a lot of people talking about Alex’s new party at all. Nobody’s that interested.’
In the port of Peterhead ten miles away, the talk is of Brexit and fishing quotas and the French fleet’s blockade yesterday of Jersey.
‘What’s the Alba Party?’ asked Jade, 33, owner of the popular Boathouse takeaway van down at the harbour. ‘Folk talk about dayto-day stuff here. I didn’t know Salmond had started a new party. I don’t care about politics.’
One customer, who declined to be named, said he was wary of picking Mr Salmond’s party. ‘I think Alex tends to only do things that benefit Alex,’ he said.
The former leader of the SNP seemed in no mood to give up. ‘I’m feeling optimistic,’ he insisted.
‘Our objective is to gain parliamentary representation across Scotland. That’s what I said five weeks ago and that remains our objective today.’ While other politicians were content to relax after a frenetic period of campaigning, Mr Salmond was preparing for a final tour in his Mercedes people carrier kitted out with a roof-mounted megaphone, to ram home his main policy message.
‘We’re playing I’m On My Way (From Misery to Happiness) by The Proclaimers, of course!
‘And we’ve managed to get hold of a generation of new loudspeakers with a one-kilometre reach so this will help cover the geographical area!’ he joked.
Indeed. But perhaps the real question is, will anybody be listening?