Livia is eco-queen of the green salad

TIME to recycle your socks and talk pants again — for it is the return of Livia Firth, the ecoactivist and former wife of actor Colin Firth. Livia is one of the most annoying women on the eco-planet, and not just because she married our Colin and then dumped him.

‘Italians have always done things in a more old-fashioned way, eating seasonal food and taking care of clothes,’ she chirps in an interview this week. ‘I remember the first time I came to London my friends were, like, “What do you mean you put away your winter clothes? Where do you put them?” ’ Readers, I am afraid there is more. ‘But for Italians, every single wool sweater gets washed, put in a little bag and put away for the summer. You’d get it out in the winter and it was a ceremony: “Oh, I forgot I had this sweater!” You’d be rediscovering your wardrobe seasonally.’

Aren’t Italians marvellous! How very clever of them to put away winter clothes — in a bag! — and eat tomatoes when they’re ripe. Whoever would have thought of such things. Livia, permesso? We also store our clothes and eat salads in season. It ain’t rocket science.