Still hankering for an £84 tin of sludge or fudge

NO, I DON’T have any walls painted with Farrow & Ball.

Not because I don’t want to, but because I live with someone who bellows ‘we are not paying £84 for a tin of paint, are you insane?’ every time it is mentioned.

The fact that you can get an equivalent amount of Dulux for £12 is the end of that particular discussion in my house.

Yet despite Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen’s dismissal of Farrow & Ball’s muted palette in these pages yesterday, I still hanker after sludge and fudge walls. My soul is obviously pure serf, because I could live with what LLB sneers at as ‘estate colours’ for ever. Yet F&B do brights, too.

The best thing in the BBC’s new adaptation of The Pursuit Of Love was the colour of the walls in the hotel loo at Linda’s wedding.

I suspect it was Farrow & Ball’s Lake Red, but it could have been Incarnadine or perhaps even Radicchio.

There is another paint company, called Bulmer, who specialise in the same sort of thing. On Instagram they post films of their precious paints being poured slo-mo into tiny tins, like dairy cream.

I marvel at their Clove and, like many, long for a Jonquil in my bathroom.

However, I do worry that their softest brown is called Mummy, which is rather nightmarish. Mummy, the walls are closing in! But, like I said, that is enough about Prince Harry for one week.