AN INSPECTOR CALLS

He pays his way... and tells it like it is

AT LEAST she was candid. ‘None of the rooms have views or anything,’ said the woman who showed me to my ‘superior’ room on the first floor of The Globe inn, restaurant and hotel, just off Warwick’s impressive main square.

Even so, I did not quite expect the windows to be frosted.

The narrow, chipped, cell-like door came as a surprise, too, and the tiny cupboard of a bathroom was particularly dispiriting, with its minuscule shower cubicle and tiny square basin behind the door which reminded me of the ones on InterCity 125 trains from 20 years ago.

One of the walls had water stains streaked down it, which at first I thought might be some sort of artistic feature.

The room itself was long and narrow, with a comfortable bed at one end. Ideally, once trade picks up, there’ll be some money in the kitty to replace the frayed grey/brown carpet and add a few touches to give the whole confection some charm.

The Globe is part of the Oakman Inns group, which goes in for tarting up old buildings. It’s a job half done here, as the downstairs works well with various booths and a tented outdoor area with picnic tables for alfresco eating and drinking.

I should have kept it simple and ordered a pizza, but opted for a mozzarella bruschetta followed by bacon and cheese hamburger. The mozzarella was rubbery, almost frozen and tasteless; the burger overdone (come to think of it, there was no question of ‘how would you like your burger cooked?’) and dry.

I managed to open one of the frosted windows a couple of inches before settling down for the night.

Things would improve in the morning, I told myself, and they did a little, as the chef went about his business in the open kitchen, offering a variety of breakfast staples, although I was surprised there was no yoghurt of any kind or fresh fruit.

At check-out I was asked if it had been an ‘enjoyable’ stay. Rather than lie, I asked about the frosted windows.

‘They give guests in that room greater privacy,’ he said.

‘From what?’ I wondered.

The Globe 10 Theatre St, Warwick CV3 44D 01926 479100 theglobewarwick.co.uk B&B Doubles from £109 ★✩✩✩✩