Never mind lobsters, what about cows?

WHILE the pandemic continues to tear though the nation, the Government is concerning itself with another pressing matter — the emotional happiness of shellfish.

One can see animal campaigner Carrie’s fragrant involvement in a new proposed ban on boiling lobsters alive, as part of a plan to strengthen the welfare rights of crustaceans.

Fiddling with crab claws while the barbecue burns? DeFRA has confirmed the Government has commissioned an independent external review of the available scientific evidence on sentience — the capacity to be aware of feelings and sensations — in both crabs and lobsters.

Why stop there? What about the inner lives of bivalves? Consider the oyster. Who among them does not squirm when its shell is prised open and its connective muscle severed before being sprayed with lemon juice or — shriek — the torture of tabasco? it’s quite easy to kill lobsters humanely before boiling — and i imagine that most people including myself do so — but who is going to police this cooking process?

Who is going to stand guard by the nation’s saucepans and grills, ears cocked for screaming lobsters?

it is all such a nonsense. if Carrie and her chums are serious about animal welfare, why don’t they do something about halal meat?

The islamic method of killing an animal for meat involves using a surgically sharp instrument to cut the animal’s throat, windpipe and the blood vessels around its neck while it is still alive. The blood is then allowed to drain from the body. Previous european law required all animals to be stunned before they were slaughtered, but granted exemptions on religious grounds.

According to the RSPCA, 58 per cent of halal meat is stunned before slaughter but the Jewish method, known as Shechita, cannot involve pre-slaughter stunning at all. instead of worrying about lobsters, surely this is the bigger animal outrage?

And now is the time to stop this widespread cruelty with new laws of our own to protect cows and sheep.

Millions of animals are killed in this terrible way every year. Why doesn’t Carrie get her teeth into this, instead of nit-picking over the rights of lobsters? Answers on a postcard please.