Splat! A saucy end to Dad’s decorating

THE 1930s were tough times, but we were lucky as Dad could earn enough to feed us and buy new clothes when my brother and I grew out of them, but money was tight. Mum wanted the living room redecorated as smoky coal fires had turned the white ceiling a dirty grey and the wallpaper was badly faded, but we couldn’t afford it. One day, Dad came home with four rolls of wallpaper he’d spotted in the remainders box outside a local shop. There was just enough to paper the dining room as long as he didn’t make any mistakes. They were the end of line and no more were available. He got up early and washed the ceiling twice to clean the old whitewash, allowing the water to start soaking the wallpaper. He gave the ceiling a fresh coat of whitewash and, while he waited for it to dry, stripped off the old paper. Mum pasted the new paper for Dad to hang. He was very careful to match the pattern. By the time it was done, it was late and Mum hadn’t been able to cook dinner. My brother was sent to buy fish and chips while I had to lay the table. Dad always had brown sauce while the rest of us preferred tomato sauce. we sat down and my brother picked up the ketchup. Dad took the bottle from him and explained that tomato sauce is thixotropic and needs to be shaken to turn it to liquid before pouring it out. He gave the bottle a vigorous shake, not realising my brother had loosened the cap. The sauce shot up the newly papered wall, leaving a bright red stain that was impossible to remove. Moving the mirror only covered part of the mark. A few years later, during the war, our house was damaged when a land mine destroyed the school opposite. The wallpaper was shredded by glass from the window and soaked by rain when the tiles were blown off. The Government sent builders to make the house habitable. The walls were painted with distemper, but never re-papered.