Ephraim Hardcastle
IS the Queen keen, as news reports suggest, on ‘benched’ Prince Andrew remaining colonel of the Grenadier Guards? Obviously she must support her son while the Duke of York denies involvement in the sex-trafficking by his friend, the wealthy late paedophile Jeffrey Epstein. Moreover, who from the depleted ranks of working royals can she appoint in his place? If the bookies open betting on this matter I suggest a modest wager on Kate Middleton succeeding her brother-in-law. A royal member of the gentler sex took on the Grenadiers in 1942 – Princess Elizabeth, then 15, succeeding her father, George VI.
THE South Drawing Room in Buckingham Palace – sometimes called the cinema because that’s where the film club meets – is now referred to as the Abattoir. Why so? ‘That’s where Emily Maitlis interviewed Prince Andrew,’ I am advised.
OPINIONATED TV property presenter Kirstie Allsopp, pictured, returning from Switzerland, shares her latest view: ‘You can bet that the vast majority of your favourite TV folk have holidayed abroad this summer. But they don’t talk about the pointless rules, or highlight the damage being done to the travel industry, because they are gutless, and focused on their pay packets and public profiles.’ Unlike Kirstie! Shouldn’t a berth be found for an exquisitely-upholstered TV siren in the Commons?
BEST selling writer Anthony Horowitz, 66, moves in starry circles but confesses (on Paul McKenna’s podcast): ‘I do have terrible facial memory. I remember going up to somebody at a party and saying, “Excuse me, What do you do?” and the person said “I am Prince Andrew.”’ Meeting Sean Connery, he says, ‘I felt six inches tall. I started to talk in a falsetto voice. Next Alec Guinness sat down next to us and I became drunk, asking him, “Do you like acting?”’
APROPOS the patronages of the late Prince Philip, who’ll take on the Outward Bound Trust, which was handed to Andrew? Might they consider his daughter, Princess Beatrice, already a trustee of the charity? Or do the alleged sins of her father count against her?
BEWIGGED Tory MP Michael Fabricant mocks his colleague Jacob Rees-Mogg following the latter’s appearance on Nigel Farage’s GB News show: ‘Shock, horror! Nigel Farage pronounces the island of Grenada correctly, while Jacob thinks it’s an ITV company based in Manchester or a Spanish city...’ Cheeky monkey – Jacob’s his Leader of the Commons.
SOUNDING like his on-the-autismspectrum ITV character Doc Martin, actor Martin Clunes, 59, muses in an interview on being a sex symbol to fans whom he calls Clunatics. ‘It’s one of the things that people say about you isn’t it? You know: You’re a sex symbol now! Well, I don’t think I am yet. I don’t give it too much headspace. I think that’s where madness can lie.’ Is the ‘yet’ a bit of a giveaway?