AND FINALLY No need to be jealous of happiness

LAST week’s column introduced the Finnish concept of ‘Sisu’ which means grit or resilience, and I contrasted it with Danish ‘hygge’, or cosiness. I poked a bit of fun at that (‘snuggling under a soft blanket’), although I love being cosy.

But one reader, D, picked out two phrases (‘...and perhaps somebody lovely to talk to’ and‘...add three little dogs’) and commented: ‘This morning I seem to have taken offence at the ease with which you describe a scene that we can picture in our mind’s eye, and which causes me an innate sense of loss.

‘I can only think it’s due to not being in the same envious position that you find yourself in.’

Oh dear. D tells me her husband, who had dementia, took his own life three years ago, and that she hates living alone.

Two of her family members have Covid at the moment, and she adds: ‘This is not helping my low feeling. I know I am very lucky to have a comfortable life, but when I read your article it filled me with dissatisfaction and sadness.’

But the vital point of that particular column was about ‘staying determined to cope, whatever life chucks at you’.

So I replied to D assuring her that I have plenty of worrying things to cope with myself, including the osteoarthritis which causes her pain.

But I’m glad she wrote because it made me reflect on how, when passing people in the street, we have no idea of their troubles. And if people seem on top of the world, remember that they may in fact be feeling the weight of the whole globe crushing their spirits.

So let’s be generous. Please don’t be jealous of the apparent happiness of others. Don’t dismiss the good news just because you’ve had bad news. Don’t sneer at happy families, because yours made you sad, mad, hurt. Don’t pour scorn on romance but try to rejoice at the fact that love exists.

Remember that one of the most beautiful phrases in our language is: ‘I’m so glad for you’.

Bel answers readers’ questions on emotional and relationship problems each week. Write to Bel Mooney, Scottish Daily Mail, 20 Waterloo Street, Glasgow G2 6DB, or email bel.mooney@dailymail.co.uk. Names are changed to protect identities. Bel reads all letters but regrets she cannot enter into personal correspondence.