Gender neutral loos prove we’ve all gone mad

WHEN historians look back on the early decades of the 21st century, what will be the one thing they identify as the moment civilisation really started going down the pan?

The answer’s simple: when we became obsessed with toilets. Or, more specifically, genderneutral toilets. Ones designed to make all people feel at ease, regardless of their individual plumbing arrangements.

Except, of course, they don’t. The reality of gender-neutral toilets is that, whereas under the oldfashioned ladies and gents system there might have been one or two people who felt a little put out by having to choose, now pretty much everyone feels uncomfortable.

Indeed, nothing exemplifies the insanity of the modern world more than the idea that progress equals a line of blokes relieving themselves in full view of the opposite sex on a night out in the West End.

And no, I’m not talking about some seedy back-alley in Soho. I’m talking about the revered Playhouse Theatre in London, where Eddie Redmayne is currently headlining to rave reviews in Cabaret.

Following similar moves at the Barbican and the Old Vic, the Playhouse has decided to offer only unisex toilet facilities. So far, so progressive.

A WOMAN has been awarded 20 grand after she was accused of being menopausal at work. Certainly brings a whole new meaning to the concept of a hot flush.

ONLY trouble is, they forgot that, on the whole, women — or ‘cis’ women, to give us our ghastly new nomenclature — don’t generally like sharing a loo with men. Especially if, in order to get to one, they have to run a gauntlet of open urinals and then deal with seats covered in suspicious liquids.

As one female punter put it, ‘It’s gross and insensitive to share with men’ — although not, it would appear, as gross and insensitive as the response of the theatre staff who, when challenged about the arrangement, responded by saying: ‘Our toilets are gender neutral. If you don’t want to use the urinals, it’s your call.’ In other words, like it or lump it.

Well, no. Why should we? Why should it always be the women who have to give ground in this stupid, endless and frankly tedious culture war? Why should it always be our spaces that get invaded, and never the other way round? On this specific issue, it’s very simple. For whatever reason, 99 per cent of men are seemingly incapable of using a loo without, how can I put this politely, turning it into a cesspit.

So when it is decided that we all have to share the same facilities, it gets people’s goat.

Men may enjoy peeing in front of each other, but women are secretive creatures when it comes to toileting. We don’t want to — and we shouldn’t have to — share that space with the opposite sex.

It is disrespectful toward us and our rights as women; but perhaps more importantly it’s disrespectful to the people we’re supposed to be doing this for — trans women, mainly, who, let’s be honest, are the ones who object most to using the gents.

Because after all, if the whole point of being a trans woman is to live as a woman, then surely the last thing she wants to be doing is staring down a urinal when she could be powdering her nose in peace and quiet in the ladies. Doesn’t it actually make things worse, having to go to the loo alongside biological males?

It’s all so exhausting. And for what, really? To keep a few smug virtue-signalling activists happy while the rest of us suffer?

Can’t we all just learn to live with each other like we used to? It wasn’t perfect, granted. But it was a damn sight better than this farce.