The deathbed gift from my devoted husband

THIRTY years ago, John, my beloved husband, was desperately ill in hospital, where he was being treated for the leukaemia that would eventually kill him.

Christmas was fast approaching but a present was the last thing on my mind. i just wanted John home, so i was thrilled when i was told i could collect him late on Christmas Eve.

On Christmas morning, he handed me a beautifully wrapped present. i had honestly expected nothing more than something from the hospital gift shop, and would have been thrilled he had been able to manage that.

But wrapped in tissue paper was a slouchy, bronze lurex sweater from the upmarket boutique Joseph.

i had seen it in the shop window some weeks earlier and must have mentioned that i had fallen in love with it while chattering away about inconsequential stuff during a hospital visit.

This being 1991, it was before online shopping or mobile phones. John had not only remembered the detail of this sweater that i’d talked about but had got in touch with one of my girlfriends using the ward pay phone and gave her instructions to buy it. he then had to send her a cheque to pay for it, because it wasn’t cheap. Finally, he concealed the gift in the locker next to his bed.

he even got the size right — the sweater fitted perfectly and looked amazing. Looking after him and our daughter (i was pregnant with her sister, inset above, when John died), i had given up on thinking about my appearance. But it was so easy to wear, just thrown on over leggings or jeans.

For many years it was my go-to Christmas jumper and i still get it out every Christmas and wear it for a few hours.

it still fits, it’s still one of the most beautiful pieces i own and, even now, wearing it makes me feel close to John.