HOW TO DIVORCE PROOF YOUR MARRIAGE

MULTIPLE studies have shown that divorce rates are higher for night-shift workers. One U.S. study found that among men working night shifts who had children, separation or divorce was six times more likely in the first five years of marriage than if they were day workers.

The same kind of trouble these couples face can also be faced in couples where each partner is of an extremely different chronotype.

But whether you are a lark and an owl heading to bed several hours apart, or whether one of you works nights and the other is on day shifts, my key bit of advice is to avoid talking about problems late at night when you are in bed. Discuss tough topics after breakfast, not dinner.

I appreciate that the evening may be the only time to talk to your partner about pressing matters — but it is really important to avoid any stressful topics immediately before bed.

That’s partly because you will both be be rattier — our mood begins to elevate in the morning, peaks during the late morning and early afternoon and plummets towards bedtime. Lots of hormones rise in the morning anticipating activity, but which are responsible for these mood changes remains uncertain.

We know that the stress hormones cortisol and adrenaline are released in response to an angsty conversation. Higher levels of these hormones before bed will increase alertness and this will act to delay sleep. Note that tiredness drives irritability, impulsivity and a lack of empathy.

Part of the reason for this is again because of the stress hormones. When tired and fighting the urge to sleep, cortisol and adrenaline are released. They keep us awake but make us more irritable, impulsive and less understanding of others. Knowing this, think carefully before speaking unless you are both fully rested.