Bowelbabe shows warring Wags meaning of dignity

The Wagatha Christie trial shows what two women with too much money and too much time on their hands can achieve without too much effort.

So far, there have been tears, stupidity and a chasm of inanity as Miss Silly sues Miss Naughty over who said what to Mr Porky Pie.

In the history of British justice, has such a childish, foolish farce ever been dragged before a judge? I don’t think so. It seems preposterous that a court of law should be taking up time with this twaddle, but that is how the system works in this country.

At its heart lies the issue of reputational damage, but did Rebekah Vardy or Coleen Rooney ever have a reputation worth saving in the first place?

I mean that in a kindly way, in that if they are known to the British public at all, it is only through the prism of their successful footballer husbands, and not by anything they have achieved or accomplished themselves. So what is the problem?

If either woman wants to come out of this well, do you know what they should do? They should knock the whole thing on the head, shake hands and walk away.

They should give the millions they would have continued to spend on their expensive lawyers to ‘Bowelbabe’ Deborah James, who is dying of cancer, and has managed to raise more than £3 million for cancer research by sharing her story.

Then they should go home, count their multiple blessings, say a prayer of thanks for their own good health, hug their children, put the kettle on and get on with the rest of their abundantly fortunate lives.

That is the only way they can get out of this with even a gossamer shred of dignity intact.