Ephraim Hardcastle
VIEWING his mother’s A Gallop Through History on TV, did Prince Andrew feel a twinge of nostalgia as he watched the equestrian skills of the Azerbaijan team? Having visited the country at least 12 times, he was regarded by President Ilham Aliyev as a ‘dear guest’. Aliyev’s niece was moved to donate caviar and wine to Andrew’s 60th birthday party. Sadly, banished Andrew was too far from Windsor Castle to even wave at radiant Mum from a window of Royal Lodge.
WILLIAM and Kate clearly thought it a wizard wheeze to unveil Orla, their new black cocker spaniel, in tandem with Kate’s snaps of daughter Charlotte on her seventh birthday. How were they to know it would unleash a frenzy of criticism on Mumsnet, with one busybody asking whether ‘Will and Kate calling their dog Orla is insensitive at best... to choose an Irish name for their dog in light of Britain’s history with Ireland’. After 43,000 views and 15 pages of debate, Will and Kate might have felt like joining Orla in a darkened kennel.
GAY rights campaigner Peter Tatchell, rejecting an invitation to be one of 100 national treasures honouring the Queen at June’s Buckingham Palace Jubilee, explains: ‘To join the celebration of the Queen’s reign would give legitimacy to an elitist and anti-LGBT+ monarch.’ HM will be inconsolable, Peter.
WILL David and Victoria Beckham concede they are now middleaged? Gabby Logan, pictured, has asked them, aged 47 and 48 respectively, to appear on her podcast The Mid Point. She fears that neither will accept they are in midlife, which is held to be from 38 to 54. ‘They’d probably be quite insulted when the email drops,’ she says. ‘But I’ll give it a go.’ Ex-footballer David probably thinks he is still playing in the first half!
AMANDA Burton recalls that when she appeared in Silent Witness in 1996, she and Prime Suspect’s Helen Mirren were the only women starring in mainstream TV shows. Asked by Radio Times if she wished her cinema career had taken off like Helen’s, she replies: ‘I don’t compare myself to others because therein madness lies.’
WHO Do You Think You Are? subject Richard Osman, asked if he was envious of fellow participant and Pointless co-host Alexander Armstrong being related to William the Conqueror, tells Radio Times: ‘Well, Danny Dyer is descended from King Edward III, so that means Alexander must be related to Danny...’ Miaow!
ADVERTISING wizard Simon Burridge, who has died, recalled writing the annual chairman’s statement for diminutive PR tycoon Sir Martin Sorrell. ‘I asked my secretary to send a covering letter that was supposed to say, “Dear Martin, I look forward to hearing your comments shortly”,’ he said, ‘but she left out the L in “shortly”. Very embarrassing.’