Ephraim Hardcastle
tHE Queen utilised her sublime diplomatic skills to ensure she wasn’t seen at the Royal Windsor Horse Show on Sunday with King Hamad of Bahrain. HM avoided being seen with Hamad, who is the subject of protests over his use of torture and other human rights infractions, by staying indoors during the day. Hamad visited her privately at Windsor castle before departing to offer condolences on the death of UAE president Sheikh Khalifa. At a similar event for her 90th in 2016, a grinning Hamad got top billing in the Royal Box next to the Queen. this year, when the Queen appeared for A Gallop through History, there was no sign of Hamad. Jordan’s Prince Hassan was doing the grinning.
ROYAL biographer Tina Brown recalls the Queen’s reaction when her guest at a Buckingham Palace lunch began to weep remembering his experience of the Iraq conflict. ‘I think this is a very good time to feed the dogs, don’t you?’ she asked as the dogs were summoned. She and the ex-soldier surreptitiously slipped them morsels under the table until he had regained his composure. ‘It was a gesture that to a British eye suggested exquisite tact,’ says Tina. ‘But to an American might read as a kind of rebuff.’
MIGHt reclusive Kate Bush, pictured, regret inviting superannuated Sex Pistol Johnny Rotten to her Georgian clifftop Devon mansion to write a song together? ‘It was about rescuing parrots from the illegal parrot smuggling [trade] in South America,’ explains Rotten. ‘By the time I got around to writing it, she thought I was a little bit insane.’ Despite Johnny’s chorus of ‘Squawk, please rescue me’, Kate sent him packing and subsequently warbled a duet with original Genesis frontman Peter Gabriel.
BLACK Rod Sarah Clarke, according to eyewitnesses, almost caught out the Commons doorkeepers during last week’s State Opening when she discreetly accelerated as she approached the chamber to have the doors slammed in her face. Perhaps she was inspired by Sir Michael Willcocks, Black Rod 2001-2009, who admitted to varying his pace each year to try to catch the Commons out. He almost succeeded one year when he increased his speed, leading to panic and an unparliamentary shout of: ‘Close the f ****** doors!’
ENJoYING the Wagatha christie court drama, comedy star Julian clary mischievously announces: ‘I’d like to play Rebekah Vardy in the tV special.’ Asked who would star opposite him as coleen Rooney, Julian suggests: ‘christopher Biggins.’
LBC’S Nick Ferrari didn’t hang up when Tina from Archway called him an imperialist live on air yesterday. ‘You are banned from listening to this show,’ he told her. ‘You are never to listen to this show again.’ He added sweetly: ‘If I catch you listening, I will take action.’