FLIP UNCOMFORTABLE FEELINGS

USE THE APEX TECHNIQUE: It is possible to flip all sorts of uncomfortable feelings including stress, anger, guilt, grief and frustration by summoning an uncomfortable emotion then countering it with its opposite emotion. You then move your attention above your head, which has the effect of distancing yourself from the feelings.

It’s a bit like a graphic equalizer that sounds shrill as only the treble is turned up. When you turn up the base, one balances the other out. So, peaceful feelings will help to reset anxiety to a lower level.

Read the exercise all the way through so that you understand it before starting.

1 Place your hands out in front of you with your palms turned up.

2 Next, let yourself focus on the feeling that is bothering you, whatever it is. It could be a fear, anger, or something else.

3 As you notice it, ask if there is anything that feeling would wish to say to you. If there is, make a note of it — if there is not, that is fine, too.

4 Now imagine holding the feeling in your left hand, in front of you and get in touch with it.

5 Now I’d like you to think of the opposite of that feeling — for example, peace, calm, comfort.

6 Bring that opposite feeling to mind — peace, calm, and comfort — and notice how it feels.

7 Now imagine placing that opposite, positive feeling in your right hand, in front of you.

8 Now move your attention up to a few inches above your head and keeping your attention in that position now experience both feelings at the same time.

9 Continue to feel the two emotions simultaneously with your attention above your head. As you do that, your emotional system will re-calibrate so that you can experience that difficult emotion at a lower level as it re-integrates into your emotional intelligence.